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Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second… (2002)

par Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny (Auteur), Ron McMillan (Auteur), Al Switzler (Auteur)

Autres auteurs: Stephen R. Covey (Avant-propos)

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3,046423,300 (3.9)13
A seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill. "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? This book offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any high-impact situation with confidence.--From publisher description.… (plus d'informations)
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» Voir aussi les 13 mentions

Affichage de 1-5 de 42 (suivant | tout afficher)
Actual rating: 2.5. Some good ideas but I don't think I walked away from it with as many usable lessons on communication as I've had with other texts. Also, it lacks an understanding of nuance in relationships and intersectionality that I can't fully express right now. ( )
  sarahlh | Mar 6, 2021 |
Convincing examples showing application across all sorts of social interactions connected with the strategies for creating a safe space for dialogue, setting expectations and moving action forward in ways that allow the largest possible number of folks to feel connected and involved. ( )
  WiebkeK | Jan 21, 2021 |
This is not my usual sort of book, for two reasons: I don't often read nonfiction and when I do, it's not anything that could be classified even loosely as self-help.

The first note I made in this book was bout its self-congratulatory tone, and the authors do throughout seem smug and confident. I can imagine them on a stage with fancy headpiece microphones throwing out air quotes around the various buzz words/phrases they introduce in the book and all but inviting people to do trust falls. In spite of all that, I did get a few useful things from this book, notably that it's good to find a common purpose when having a tough conversation rather than landing yourself in essentially an argument about who's right and that you have to be careful about inventing stories/motivations for how others address you. I'm bad about both of these things in my personal communication, and already I've found myself in conversations thinking about the actual information being given to me vs. the narrative I want to hear and be offended by. These are pretty obvious things now that I've read them, but I had never really thought of them in such plain terms, and I think I'll find them useful.

I think I could have gotten most of the useful info from the book in a 5-page paper, though. Often enough, the book felt like basically a sales pitch for the consulting services I imagine the authors provide. So my rating for the book itself is pretty low, though a couple of the ideas I think will be pretty useful for me to keep in mind as I have even not-very-tough conversations. ( )
  dllh | Jan 6, 2021 |
An excellent read.

This book was very helpful in helping me think about how we all communicate - and how poorly I am at it. More often than we may realize, we have what the author calls "crucial conversations". That is, conversations where emotions and stakes are high - may it be in business, in marriage, or with family. Patterson lays out several principles to keep in mind when you find yourself approaching or in these types of conversations. Rather than a step-by-step method of mastering rhetoric and dominating conversations, Patterson shows you how to really dialogue, getting on the same page and moving from there.

Take the time to read the book. ( )
  redeemedronin | Dec 28, 2020 |
Some padding in the content, but most of it is actual, useful how-to with examples. It's not fluff, it's not hogwash, it just takes time to reshape or rewire how one defaults into old habits in conversations. With practise, this could be a game changer. ( )
  LDVoorberg | Nov 22, 2020 |
Affichage de 1-5 de 42 (suivant | tout afficher)
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Nom de l'auteur(e)RôleType d'auteurŒuvre ?Statut
Kerry Pattersonauteur(e) principal(e)toutes les éditionscalculé
Grenny, JosephAuteurauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
McMillan, RonAuteurauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Switzler, AlAuteurauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Covey, Stephen R.Avant-proposauteur secondairetoutes les éditionsconfirmé
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We dedicate this book to Louise, Celia, Bonnie, and Linda—whose support is abundant, whose love is nourishing, and whose patience is just shy of infinite. And to our children Christine, Rebecca, Taylor, Scott, Aislinn, Cara, Seth, Samuel, Hyrum, Amber, Megan, Chase, Hayley, Bryn, Amber, Laura, Becca, Rachael, Benjamin, Meridith, Lindsey, Kelley, Todd who have been a wonderful source of learning.
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In perhaps the most revealing of all the health-related studies, a group of subjects who had contracted malignant melanoma received traditional treatment and then were divided into two groups. One group met weekly for only six weeks; the other did not. Facilitators taught the first group of recovering patients specific communication skills. (When it's your life that's at stake, could anything be more crucial?)

After meeting only six times and then dispersing for five years, the subjects who learned how to express themselves effectively had a higher survival rate--only 9 percent succumbed as opposed to almost 30 percent in the untrained group.
People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool—even ideas that at first glance appear controversial, wrong, or at odds with their own beliefs. Now, obviously they don't agree with every idea; they simply do their best to ensure that all ideas find their way into the open.
The Pool of Shared Meaning is the birthplace of synergy
Second, clarify what you really don't want. This is the key to framing the and question. Think of what you are afraid will happen to you if you back away from your current strategy of trying to win or stay safe. What bad thing will happen if you stop pushing so hard? Or if you don't try to escape? What horrible outcome makes game-playing an attractive and sensible option?
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A seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill. "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? This book offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any high-impact situation with confidence.--From publisher description.

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