My review on Amazon:

I almost gave up on this book after the first 2-3% of the book which featured a bunch of superfluous football nonsense that felt like something the author just wanted to trot out there to impress the reader with his football smarts that did nothing for the story or characters, not one but TWO forced prayer scenarios (that again-did nothing for the story or characters), and very clichéd and sexist character descriptions-problematic examples below.

Most of the female characters in this book utterly fail the sexy lamp test. Heck, and most of the ‘foreign’ characters too, come to think of it. Actually no, I take that back, some of the foreign *male* characters are given slightly interesting stuff to do….if they don’t get along with the MC anyways, and most of them don’t. So they somewhat serve as conflict generators. Either way, they’re still accessories. The only other character with any real agency is Major Superhero (explanation to follow) who is, of course, a white American male.

I can only hope in the books to come, there is some redeeming factor for the MC in regards to well, everyone else in the book. If that’s the point of the pathetic behavior of the MC, I will be pleasantly surprised. Happy even. I would welcome that character growth and it would make the MC more sympathetic.

And character descriptions, most women were either ‘stocky’ (author needs to use another description aside from stocky-I swear this description was used probably about 30+ times) or ‘pretty’ (and a couple that were both stocky AND pretty!) Tip for the author, go into your manuscript, hit control F and type in stocky. Replace at least 90% of these occurrences with something else. Anything else.

The author could stand to cut the entire first quarter of the book, or seriously rethink it. I would have honestly enjoyed author exposition more than what he’s got here now.

BUT, once the action really gets going, the author hits his stride.

If you can set aside the one dimensional character construction, the narrow-minded, juvenile (and downright annoying) MC, and the pervasive typos and errors, the story/plot itself is intriguing. Really cool concept, fun world building and a nice flow.

The white, straight, (and apparently Christian) fit, American, male gaze of this book is tiresome in the extreme, but personally I am glad I kept reading past that first painful 2%. I definitely want to read the rest of the series, flaws and all. I really wish the author wasn’t *quite* so immersed in these flaws/stereotypes, but…what can you do? It recedes a bit as the action picks up, though it doesn’t disappear. At least the story is good enough to make the flaws more forgivable/forgettable.

Now, for the examples:

Ew (describing football teammates): “You don’t need to be out there with those monsters. Some of those kids look like they should be in prison.” HMMMM, I wonder which kids, oh I’m sorry MONSTERS, those would be….I just don’t…what’s even the point of this?

MC’s father’s description vs. mother’s:

Father: “Though years behind a desk had softened his middle a bit, Ben Sanders still looked solid as an oak, and he spoke with a rich, commanding baritone that had served him well in courtrooms across the state for nearly twenty years.”

Mother: “Tara Sanders was as pretty as her age and modern cosmetics allowed, petite and blond, with high cheeks that cracked faint lines at the sides of her eyes even through her expertly applied makeup.” Later, she turns into nothing more than ‘a weepy mess’. This is the extent of Mom’s involvement.

And that kind of sums it up. Most of the female characters (or should I say caricatures…?) boil down to what they look like. Disappointing and off-putting but expected, I guess. This gets a smidge better as the book goes on, but I can’t say it’s ever really entirely corrected. There is a small Chinese girl the MC values for her athleticism and there’s the MC’s love interest (which really-sexy lamp). The ‘female’ alien is his best relationship of the entire book. But there were still some issues with her depiction, even here.

Other rather icky ‘highlights’:

“Now he wore thick rimmed glasses, completing his transition into full-on high school movie cliché.” (Apparently the author doesn’t realize what a high school movie cliché his MC is?)

“Quinn thought they seemed just like every other girl he had ever met. On a good hair day, neither of them would have rated higher than a ‘6’ at his high school.” (I’m sure Quinn is a ‘10’ though because FOOTBALL! AMERICA!)

“..but he almost looked like a superhero in it…” (You guessed it, he’s American!)

“She wore an e-suit with the hood pulled off to show her thick and unkempt…hair. (She’s Indian so of course she’s ‘unkempt’! Later, she even has ‘doe eyes’! But their close together so no worries they still make her face look small.) The woman smiled pleasantly at them as she shook their hands, lines creased the edges of her eyes and betrayed her age.” This eye-lines treatment is only applicable to women apparently. Who are constantly ‘betraying their age’ because it’s a dirty, shameful secret apparently!

Quinn gets jealous the very instant someone else gets positive attention. Gag me. This theme is ubiquitous throughout the book. It’s annoying. I get that he’s a teenager but…c’mon. You could have given the MC a bit more depth.

“I’ve played football since before I could walk.” Lol, okaaay.

Of course one of the English speaking girls goes from a ‘6’ to ‘stunning’ within a few pages. Because you know, it’s that or…he might have to like one of the ‘foreign’ girls. And we all know THAT’S not going to happen.

Quinn almost instantly dislikes/avoids the girl who wears thick eyeliner, dyes her hair black and listens to the Clash. Shocker. I wish Quinn was a little less predictable.

The girl he likes almost instantly starts ‘siding’ with the MC over the girl she knew before him. Because it’s a popularity contest and the MC will win! There can be only one! Plus other girls are disposable when the MC walks onto the scene. Marty-Stu much?

MC instantly dislikes the French kid. Shocker. And my goodness! The arrogance of wanting his name pronounced correctly! Unacceptable! I think about 2 (or more) pages are dedicated to how much the MC can’t stand this aspect of the French kid and his language. I get that you had to make your character butt heads with everyone else for his ultimate ‘redemption’ but sheesh…you could have dug a little deeper here.

“One of the boys, Pepe from Peru or Bolivia or one of those places Quinn thought of as ‘Mexico’”….Ugh. MC is an ignorant American kid. Good god man, we get it.

The American military guy (you know, the only one that looks like a superhero in his suit) demands to be the first person to step foot on another planet, even though everyone else agreed to do it in a fair way, and the Indian girl whose honor it was supposed to be is just shunted aside. This one was really irritating. It didn’t do anything but remind me of what dicks Americans are. And I’m American.

I can’t tell you how many things are ‘the size of a football field’ (or bigger!).

“Language was a thin barrier to the gossip of adolescent girls.” Even on an alien planet, apparently all girls are interested in is still giggling over boys. Ok. Cuz only boys are interested in fun cool alien stuff! Girls don’t worry their fluffy little heads over MAN STUFF. Like aliens, the grand adventure their all on, learning the Focus, life threatening scenarios or anything else really. Just boys! Hee hee! Please.

AND THEN, we have a Lolita trying to proposition Major Superhero. Brazilian of course (cuz we all know female Brazilian teenagers (or any other stand-in female of color) are just precocious sexpots waiting to happen) -‘dark with sly eyes and pouty lips’. Gag me. Why…? More Marty-Stu?

“So what do you look for in a woman?” “Legality.” “I like my women like I like my coffee…quiet.” “You’d do well to stay away from those girls. They’ll eat you alive.” Yes because that is what SHE-BEASTS do! (When they’re not ‘being quiet’.)

“…that German ogre…” Yes we still get it. Murica rules!

Hey! Let’s make fun of the ’chubby kid’ some more, even though he’s exercising! Because I haven’t expressed enough disdain yet! Bleh.

“the wizened Chinese…” for about the 5th time… Also it’s about this time the author forgets that the doctor’s eyesight problem was previously fixed and has him squinting over glasses he doesn’t wear anymore: “The scientist regarded him over his glasses, his thin eyes nearly completely squinted.” Plus he’s Asian, so it’s important we know exactly how squinty his eyes are…

More girl giggling. (Of course the MC is soooooooooo far above it all though…)

The nymphet behavior of the Neilu was entirely overwrought.

Good stuff:

The Neilu marriage thing was pretty hilarious. I had some genuine laugh out loud moments.

Quinn getting the piss taken out of him constantly was actually very satisfying. Because he’s really not that likeable. I wouldn’t say there was much substantial character growth-but this is book one of a series so I guess we’ll see. The only redeeming relationship he had really was with his Neilu ‘wife’. He only accepted the ‘chubby kid’ after he noticed he’d lost weight and….literally died. But as I said, seeing him go through hardships WAS satisfying. So there’s that about it.

(I am afraid, however, that later this will simply turn into a win for the MC when he starts getting his powers and they’re bigger/badder/more awesome than anyone else’s. Murica! I hope that’s not the case.)

The storyline was really fun and engaging. This book *is* a page turner!

Conclusion:

I really hope there is some character growth with the MC, and some better characterization in the books to come, which would round out this intended series to be something worth reading on every level. The book could also benefit greatly from a good editor. But it’s definitely worth a read even with the problems it currently suffers from.

Minus one star for editing issues, minus one star for poor (and utterly sexist) character development. Three stars for a unique, original and exciting storyline. Fix those 2 issues, and you have yourself a five star story. As it stands, I would only recommend this book for adults, because I wouldn't want an impressionable teen exposed (certainly not my own 16 year old son) to the terrible tropes that permeate this book. As an adult, at least, they are more recognizable. ( )