Kirk Jones opened our eyes to the wonders of having sex with couches in his first book. But in JOURNEY TO ABORTOSPHERE, he's turned objectophilia into a goddamn art form. Jones ranks among the more cerebral Bizarro authors like D. Harlan Wilson, but he also dares to go places others don't. JOURNEY TO ABORTOSPHERE contains substance, in addition to time travel and CIA agents grown in test tubes and giant iron attack fetuses. It's everything you could hope for from a Bizarro book."- Steve Lowe, author of KING OF THE PERVERTS and YOU ARE SLOTH!Touch-holes are sprouting like dandelions in Poughkeepsie, New York. All of them exude the aura of eras past. Only Melissa the gluteomancer has the ability to read the puckering orifi as a diviner reads tea leaves. If she properly interprets the ebb and flow of gluteal hair parting between her fingers, she and her partner - Ed, the animist with a shoehorn fixation - can find their way out of the cosmic toilet bowl for God's failed creations: the Abortosphere. But before they escape, there's a twelve-ton iron fetus to contend with. Will they get out alive, or will the heavy metal baby with a steel wool bottom, serrated fingertips, and wormhole eyes blot them out of existence for good?