In Asking for It, Harding argues--I think quite successfully--that we live in a culture which, while professing to abhor rape, actually does precious little to prevent, investigate, prosecute, and punish rape. What's worse, we live in a culture which does more to encourage and protect rapists than rape victims (thus the term "rape culture").

This book is very thoroughly researched--the amount of data and scholarly research cited is truly eye-opening--and provides ample evidence to support its central claim: that our culture does not take rape as seriously as it purports to, and that we need to do better. This point is relentlessly driven home as Harding covers media, cultural myths, the criminal justice system, politicians, and much more.

Though it's well worth reading simply for Harding's detailed handling of the topic, the book ups the ante: after making the claim that we need to do better, Harding then provides concrete suggestions as to how we can do better. She does not simply identify a pervasive, ugly problem (though goodness knows that's important enough); she outlines ways in which we, as a society, can better address that problem. And that, to me, is one of the most valuable things about the book.

Harding's incisive critique paired with her forward-looking approach makes Asking for It a must-read.

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Now that I'm finished, I must say this was hard to read/listen to, but it really cleared up a lot of cobwebs regarding the rape mythos I've learned up to now. Incredibly, she even meets the crude caveman terminology with clear logic and reasoning. I doubt I will ever see this topic in any other way, and am thankful that I have read this book and the feminine point of view, especially for my wife and daughter and how they have to deal with the world. ( )

Trigger warning: the following review only talks in the broadest terms about the topic of this book, but I've wrapped it in spoilers anyways.


So, first off- while the majority of this book discusses and deals with the broad picture issues- the statistics behind rape, common myths used to perpetuate rape culture-- it also contains a number of descriptions of heartbreaking incidents. It's not an easy read.

I had a conversation with two acquaintances last week in which they started to argue the usual victim blaming bullshit. I tried to change their views, but found myself fumbling to explain what felt like self-evident truths-- that there's no such thing as "asking for it", that false accusations of rape are rare, that rape doesn't generally happen "by accident", that there's value in teaching affirmative consent.

By the end of that conversation I was dismayed-- not just that people I knew held such backwards beliefs, but that we'd had an honestly frank discussion about rape and I was not able to convince them they were wrong.

This book was well-written, informative, and empathetic without (despite the topic) being emotionally impossible to read. It provided me with some strong arguments to try next time I run into victim blaming, and further motivation to speak up.

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Much like Katha Pollitt's book, Pro, is nominally about abortion but is really about women's rights in America, this book is about rape, but is also really about women's rights here in the United States (despite the fact some rapes are not upon females.) While Pollitt takes a bit more formal debate club approach to presenting her case, this author is more of the center of attention at the social party, demanding your attention with great verve and style. Much of what is presented in this book reminded me of many years ago during my last semester of college, I presented a research paper intending to connect a particular communications theory to battered spouse syndrome. The concept of a battered wife was just taking hold in America and had just started to be introduced to law enforcement and in the courts as a viable defense. As I started to itemize the concept of battered spouses to the class, a female student sitting directly in front of me had her jaw drop and her eyes became the size of cannonball targets. At the time, I thought I must have been describing her relationship with her boyfriend. Later, it occurred to me that she may have just been extremely naive about such matters. (Would she have been equally naive about date rape?) I mention this only because many of the stories presented in this book about rape reminded me a great deal of the state of battered spouses back then. And yet, I would argue that both wife battering and rape culture in America are similar means of degrading women and are similarly not going away with any rapidity. You notice I said not going away while the author's book subtitle mentions the "rise" in rape culture. Rise? Anyone familiar with black civil rights figure, Fannie Lou Hamer? Hamer's grandmother had 23 children, 20 of which were the result of rape. Such was the lot of black southern women in her time. Is it possible to have a "rise" in rape culture from that point? And is spouse battering really so much better handled now than earlier? A woman was arrested, charged, and sentenced in such a case. What had she done? She had fired a gun into the ceiling to warn off her belligerent male partner. Nobody was killed or even injured. Just firing a gun to scare off her partner from hurting her. But she was sentenced to 20 years in prison. And yet, the author ends her book on a rather optimistic note about how colleges are finally getting more serious about adjudicating rape complaints. Good, good. But what about the military? How much better is that rape culture in light of the "new improved" but watered down Department of Defense policy changes recently adopted. And lordy, how will non-college, non-military women get relief without a major institution managing their rape complaints appropriately? I found the author extremely engaging in what she had to say and her information valuable, especially to anyone faced directly with our rape culture, but I felt totally caught off guard by her book's excessively positive ending. ( )

I listened to this audiobook in a few short days. It’s taken me longer to write the full review than to listen to the book, because I want to get it right. Once you start listening, I’ll wager you can’t stop. It’s heartbreaking and hopeful. It’s depressing and inspiring. Harding clearly did her research, but she also has a stake in the story. We all do. Rape culture isn’t the world we want to leave for our daughters and granddaughters. And awareness is the first place to start. If you’re looking for the backstory to #MeToo, this is the place to start.

I hope you'll read my full review at The Bibliophage! ( )