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We are Not Ourselves (2014)

par Matthew Thomas

MembresCritiquesPopularitéÉvaluation moyenneMentions
1,48910812,233 (3.84)54
"Born in 1941, Eileen Tumulty is raised by her Irish immigrant parents in Woodside, Queens, in an apartment where the mood swings between heartbreak and hilarity, depending on whether guests are over and how much alcohol has been consumed. Eileen can't help but dream of a calmer life, in a better neighborhood. When Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist whose bearing is nothing like those of the men she grew up with, she thinks she's found the perfect partner to deliver her to the cosmopolitan world she longs to inhabit. They marry, and Eileen quickly discovers Ed doesn't aspire to the same, ever bigger, stakes in the American Dream. Eileen encourages her husband to want more: a better job, better friends, a better house, but as years pass it becomes clear that his growing reluctance is part of a deeper psychological shift. An inescapable darkness enters their lives, and Eileen and Ed and their son Connell try desperately to hold together a semblance of the reality they have known, and to preserve, against long odds, an idea they have cherished of the future. Through the Learys, novelist Matthew Thomas charts the story of the American Century, particularly the promise of domestic bliss and economic prosperity that captured hearts and minds after WWII. The result is a powerfully affecting work of art; one that reminds us that life is more than a tally of victories and defeats, that we live to love and be loved, and that we should tell each other so before the moment slips away. Epic in scope, heroic in character, masterful in prose, We Are Not Ourselves is a testament to our greatest desires and our greatest frailties."--… (plus d'informations)
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» Voir aussi les 54 mentions

Anglais (105)  Italien (1)  Norvégien (1)  Toutes les langues (107)
Affichage de 1-5 de 107 (suivant | tout afficher)
Oh, the disappointment. Eileen Leary, smart and ambitious, wants to climb up and out of her disappointing childhood , having enough of both her parents weakness and their lot in life. She marries a man who, unfortunately, does not share her aspirations. All three, husband, wife, and their son, fall victim to their own tragic shortcomings, and become alienated from each other. Drastic circumstances force them to reconsider their lives.
Towards the end, I became tired. I can't imagine being in Eileen's place. I think she wore out as well, and finally learned to look outside of her own dreams of wealth and social status. ( )
  juliechabon | Apr 5, 2024 |
The writing and the characters were wonderful. I just loved this book, but I was in tears many times. I didn't know the main premise of the book when I read it,so I don't want to state it here. I thought about the book last night after I finished it to the point that it kept me awake. Be warned!
If I was in my 20s or 30s I don't think I would have liked this book much. Not enough perspective (just speaking for myself). The book is character driven and if someone really is into plot, this isn't your book. I will reread this book in a few years and see what else it has to say. ( )
  Maryjane75 | Sep 30, 2023 |
I don't often give books a four-star rating unless they are really good. This one is. it is a quiet story, one that goes along, pulling you in and asking some big questions about who we are, and what makes us so, but does it in a subtle way. I am an admitted libramaniac, no sooner finishing one book than scanning my lists for the next one. Not that I am just after the conquest, I often will ponder a book in the process of reading it. It's just that there are so many to be read! And just not enough time.

Well, it's the next day, and I am still thinking about this one. I have seen other reviews that said it was slow, or that it didn't keep them interested. I was the opposite. I kept reading the next chapter after I should have stopped for the evening because I just wanted it to keep on. Even after it ended, I wanted to know what was going to happen to the characters.

Not wanting to give anything away, but towards the end, there is a letter from one character to another that should be read, if nothing else in the book is read. But then, if you hadn't read the rest of the book, it wouldn't mean nearly so much. I only wish that I had received a letter like that one. ( )
  kent23124 | May 19, 2023 |
Oh, Eileen Leary wants the American Dream in a bad way. And to her, it's all embodied by the house for which she is willing to sacrifice almost everything. And, because she is able to keep the house, we are supposed to think that she did okay, our Eileen.

I understand that the house is supposed to be representative, but it seemed most of the time to represent materialism. I love a family saga but this one left me a bit flat. ( )
  ParadisePorch | Jul 3, 2022 |
Good book but sad too with all of life's little complications ( )
  AlexM12345 | Jan 5, 2022 |
Affichage de 1-5 de 107 (suivant | tout afficher)
This is a book in which a hundred fast-moving pages feel like a lifetime and everything looks different in retrospect. As in the real world, the reader’s point of view must change as often as those of the characters...This is one of the frankest novels ever written about love between a caregiver and a person with a degenerative disease.
ajouté par ozzer | modifierNew York Times, Janet Maslin (Aug 21, 2014)
 
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Darling, do you remember the man you married?  Touch me, remind me who I am.  —Stanley Kunitz
We are not ourselves
When nature, being oppressed, commands the mind
to suffer with the body.  —King Lear
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"I take no pleasure in saying this, but from now on, it might be best to think of every day as the best day of the rest of your life."
"I will always know who you are," Ed said, kissing the top of his head. "I promise you that. Even if you think I don't know, even if I seem not to. I will always know who you are. You're my son. Don't you ever forget that."
Her profession had been becoming hers the whole time she she'd been looking away from it. The point wasn't always to do what you want.  The point was to do what you did and to do it well. She had worked hard for years, and if she had nothing to show for it but her house and her son's education, there was still the fact of its having happened, which no one could erase from the record of human lives, even if no one was was keeping one.
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"Born in 1941, Eileen Tumulty is raised by her Irish immigrant parents in Woodside, Queens, in an apartment where the mood swings between heartbreak and hilarity, depending on whether guests are over and how much alcohol has been consumed. Eileen can't help but dream of a calmer life, in a better neighborhood. When Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist whose bearing is nothing like those of the men she grew up with, she thinks she's found the perfect partner to deliver her to the cosmopolitan world she longs to inhabit. They marry, and Eileen quickly discovers Ed doesn't aspire to the same, ever bigger, stakes in the American Dream. Eileen encourages her husband to want more: a better job, better friends, a better house, but as years pass it becomes clear that his growing reluctance is part of a deeper psychological shift. An inescapable darkness enters their lives, and Eileen and Ed and their son Connell try desperately to hold together a semblance of the reality they have known, and to preserve, against long odds, an idea they have cherished of the future. Through the Learys, novelist Matthew Thomas charts the story of the American Century, particularly the promise of domestic bliss and economic prosperity that captured hearts and minds after WWII. The result is a powerfully affecting work of art; one that reminds us that life is more than a tally of victories and defeats, that we live to love and be loved, and that we should tell each other so before the moment slips away. Epic in scope, heroic in character, masterful in prose, We Are Not Ourselves is a testament to our greatest desires and our greatest frailties."--

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