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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

par John M. Gottman, Joan Declaire (Auteur), Julie Schwartz Gottman (Auteur)

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Family & Relationships. Nonfiction. HTML:In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital toolsâ??scientifically based and empirically verifiedâ??that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication.
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predictâ??with more than 90 percent accuracyâ??whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice.
What emerged from the Gottmans' collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that's based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problemsâ??extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacyâ??and examine what they've done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans' work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that's headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.
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Good stuff for all relationships. I liked the lengthy examples. They really helped to illustrate each point. Slightly repetitive of the same ideas from his 7 points in the other book. ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
After finishing this book, I made a note in Evernote for each chapter that I can use todo the exercises.

I was initially disappointed that instead of ten points, it was ten stories of couples that came in for counseling. But as I read them, I realized that each couple was there to illustrate an important way to improve a relationship. Thus, I want to go back through it to study by doing the exercises completely instead of just a quick pass in my head. ( )
  bread2u | Jul 1, 2020 |
More helpful exercises that can make a Great Dates topic or marriage prep activity ( )
  carka | Jul 25, 2010 |
Good book on communication, but uneven even there. Some notes:
Ask explatory questions, develop curiousity about other people's experiences and learn to listen. "Can you tell me more about this? Explain what you mean."
Present challenges and differences without criticizing.
Express and accept appreciation.
Recognize when you're stressed and take steps to relax.
Say what you're feeling and what you want and need, even if it's difficult.
Listen and respond to another's feelings and wants and needs before reassuring and before trying to solve the problem.
Respond to criticism with the honest question: "What do you want?"
Hear the longing in a complaint.
On messing up: "I feel terrible about this. What can I do to make it up to you? I would also like your understanding and support."
Respond to non-responsiveness: I really want you to understand my feelings here. ( )
  Hanuman2 | Jul 19, 2008 |
Lots of practical suggestions for improving marriage and communication. I liked reading the actual conversations and comparing them to conversations I have with my spouse. Great questions to discuss, useful advice - great handbook. ( )
  tjsjohanna | Oct 27, 2007 |
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Nom de l'auteurRôleType d'auteurŒuvre ?Statut
Gottman, John M.Auteurauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Declaire, JoanAuteurauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Gottman, Julie SchwartzAuteurauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Denaker, SusanNarrateurauteur secondairequelques éditionsconfirmé
Ganser, L. J.Narrateurauteur secondairequelques éditionsconfirmé
Gartlan, AnneNarrateurauteur secondairequelques éditionsconfirmé
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Family & Relationships. Nonfiction. HTML:In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital toolsâ??scientifically based and empirically verifiedâ??that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication.
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predictâ??with more than 90 percent accuracyâ??whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice.
What emerged from the Gottmans' collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that's based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problemsâ??extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacyâ??and examine what they've done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans' work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that's headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.
From the Hardc

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