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Why I Left the Amish: A Memoir

par Saloma Miller Furlong

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634414,365 (3.5)3
There are two ways to leave the Amish--one is through life and the other through death. When Saloma Miller Furlong's father dies during her first semester at Smith College, she returns to the Amish community she had left twenty four years earlier to attend his funeral. Her journey home prompts a flood of memories. Now a mother with grown children of her own, Furlong recalls her painful childhood in a family defined by her father's mental illness, her brother's brutality, her mother's frustration, and the austere traditions of the Amish--traditions Furlong struggled to accept for years before making the difficult decision to leave the community. In this personal and moving memoir, Furlong traces the genesis of her desire for freedom and education and chronicles her conflicted quest for independence. Eloquently told, Why I Left the Amish is a revealing portrait of life within--and without--this frequently misunderstood community.… (plus d'informations)
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» Voir aussi les 3 mentions

4 sur 4
I read this for the Just For Fun Challenge which encourages reading one book that has been on the TBR shelf for a long time and without doing a review. I still rated this book though and I enjoyed it. ( )
  Carolee888 | Dec 17, 2015 |
This is the memoir of Saloma Miller Furlong, returning to her Amish community for her father's funeral after having left 24 years earlier. Her journey home brings back a flood of memories of her painful childhood: a mentally ill father with a violent temper, an abusive older brother, and a mother who rarely tried to protect her. She also reflects on the events that led up to her deciding to leave and start a life of her own, at the age of 20, in Vermont.

This book is a very interesting and unromanticized look at the darker side of life within the Amish. That's not saying of course that all Amish families are dysfunctional of course, in any society, you are going to have people at both ends of the "good and bad" scale. But with the Amish living a more sheltered life, a lot of that abuse and dysfunction is hidden from the outside world.

One of Saloma's sisters is intellectually disabled, but it was barely touched upon in this book. I would have liked to have known more about her disability, when it was discovered, and how the family dealt with it, and why as an adult, she was living in a group home in another state.

Even with all the author had been through, she does not write with bitterness about the Amish, and she does share a few stories of what she admires about them.

This book left me wanting to know more about her life after she left, so I am looking forward to reading the rest of her story in "Bonnet Strings", in which she writes about what happened after she arrived in Vermont, and her struggles with feeling as if she were in between two worlds. ( )
  mom2acat | Feb 22, 2015 |
Interesting insight into Amish life. Not as picturesque as often portrayed. Not overly well-written, but I'm sure it was something the author had to do, and helpful for her. A lot of loose ends left hanging. ( )
  cherybear | Mar 14, 2013 |
When Saloma Furlong heard that her Datt was dying, she began to think about the Amish community she left behind over twenty-five years ago. In this memoir, she goes back and forth between where she is now - married, with a son in college, and attending Smith College herself - and her memories of growing up in an Amish community in Ohio.

Because the narrative went back and forth, it was difficult for me to make a coherent picture of her life from her sometimes non-chronological memories. She grew up with a depressed and at times abusive father, and her home memories are not pleasant. I feel sorry for her. I do. I'm sure writing this memoir was cathartic for her as she processed her feelings for her family, her community, and her choice to leave the fold. But when I'm reading someone else's life story I want more than a glimpse at a dysfunctional family, I want to understand a way of life different from my own, or gain insight into a different culture, or see a progression from childhood to young adulthood. Her memories of early childhood are presented in a topical manner, and some of the conversations she has with her family seem to only serve in explaining something about Amish culture, so I felt like she was preaching her point of view to me. I read the book because she is a local author, and several people in my local libraries have requested the book, but I found it disappointing. ( )
1 voter bell7 | Mar 23, 2011 |
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There are two ways to leave the Amish--one is through life and the other through death. When Saloma Miller Furlong's father dies during her first semester at Smith College, she returns to the Amish community she had left twenty four years earlier to attend his funeral. Her journey home prompts a flood of memories. Now a mother with grown children of her own, Furlong recalls her painful childhood in a family defined by her father's mental illness, her brother's brutality, her mother's frustration, and the austere traditions of the Amish--traditions Furlong struggled to accept for years before making the difficult decision to leave the community. In this personal and moving memoir, Furlong traces the genesis of her desire for freedom and education and chronicles her conflicted quest for independence. Eloquently told, Why I Left the Amish is a revealing portrait of life within--and without--this frequently misunderstood community.

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