Positive portrayals of mothers or mother/child relationships?

I've been reading an enjoyable and undeservedly little-known epic fantasy, Mickey Zucker Reichert's Beyond Ragnarok. While I like it for the most part, one thing has drawn my notice, and not in a good way. In this book, mothers come in two kinds: horrible (if not downright evil) and dead. The only good mother is a dead mother. It got me thinking: how often do we see positive portrayals of mothers and motherhood in fantasy? How often does a mother come across as a whole person, whether she is the protagonist or a supporting character in her child's story?

The first book with a sympathetic mother protagonist that comes to mind is Patricia C. Wrede's Caught in Crystal, in which Kayl gets to be both mother and warrior and puts her heart into both roles. Marshall Maresca's A Murder of Mages also has a mother as its lead character, though for most of her page time she's acting as a police investigator (and she's quite the badass), so we don't see her "mother side" quite as often as we do Kayl's. Beyond that, I hate to say, I've got nothing.

As for supporting mother characters who are painted sympathetically, I think that's what Robin Hobb was going for with Ronica Vestrit in her Liveship Traders series. She's a complete person and plays her role admirably, except that she clearly likes, values, and supports her older daughter, Keffria, far more than her younger daughter, Althea. That would bother me less if I didn't hate Keffria so much. Keffria tells Althea that she is to blame for her own rape, and at no point, NO point, does she apologize or atone for this bit of unconscionable cruelty. Still pisses me off. Some people might call Catelyn Stark from A Song of Ice and Fire a sympathetic mother, but I find her more annoying than otherwise. Then there's Kirit's mother from Updraft, for whom I had such hopes. In the novel's early sections I thought, "Finally! A halfway decent mother-daughter relationship in a YA fantasy!" And then the mother betrays her, ruining everything. Her friend's mother might qualify as more sympathetic, but she fails in the "whole/complete person" department.

So, what are some honestly good depictions of mothers or of mother-child relationships in the genre?

Wow. Might actually be a category NOT covered by Malazan, come to think of it. I thought it had everything.

I've seen plenty of fathers but you're right, where's mom? I've dabbled in writing fantasy fiction and realized there's no moms in mine, kind of weird. Then I noticed the same thing you did. They're hard to find anywhere in the genre. Some instances of women protagonists or couples adopting urchins in the course of a story or at the conclusion, but rare for a protagonist's mom to figure much.

Only example I've got is sort of a cheat; the Cheysuli Chronicles by Jennifer Roberson is a multi-generational epic, so of course it's got just about every family relationship going on that you can imagine.

2: They all seem to be dead.
Recent reads of mine:
The Girl With Ghost Eyes -- father living, mother dead. (Great read, though)
Garden of Stones -- heroine's father living, mother dead; hero is (I think) an orphan
A College of Magics -- heroine is an orphan, never thinks about her parents
Behind the Throne -- protagonist has a horrible mother who treats her like crap
Six of Crows -- no mothers anywhere, not even in the characters' memories
Shadows of Self and The Alloy of Law -- everyone is an orphan. (I don't recall any sympathetic mothers in Sanderson's other work, either. We all remember what happens to Shallan's mother. Navani might qualify if she ever actually interacted with her children. Adolin's and Renarin's mother is dead. Siri's and Vivenna's mother is dead. Vin is, of course, an orphan. One exception: Kaladin does have a cool mom, and I hope we see more of her.
The Goblin Emperor -- dead mother (also the ONLY female character depicted sympathetically throughout, which is a bit disheartening)
Priestess of the White -- I don't recall any mothers mentioned. Sonea of the Black Magician Trilogy is an orphan.
The Guns of Empire -- no character has a living mother, as far as I can recall.
The Summer Dragon -- dead mother (who didn't do very well by her daughter when she was alive, either)
The Aeronaut's Windlass -- only Gwen has a living mother, and in our brief glimpse of her, she's antagonistic.
(However, Jim Butcher does give us one decent portrayal of a mother who is a whole person: Isana in Codex Alera. I haven't read The Dresden Files, so I don't know if any halfway sympathetic mothers appear in it.)
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children -- dad is three-dimensional; mom is one-dimensionally horrible (and barely in the book)
Path of the Sun -- I think Dhulyn and Parno are both orphans; I don't recall any mention of, or appearance by, either parent of either character
Pyramids of London -- mothers are all dead
Spirits That Walk in Shadow -- mothers are horrible
The Drearcliff Grange School -- mothers are dead
Children of Earth and Sky -- mothers are dead
Doomsday Book -- mothers, both past and present, are horrible
Updraft -- treacherous mother
The Red Knight and The Fell Sword -- protagonist's mother is particularly evil
Full Fathom Five -- don't remember any mothers mentioned
Redemption in Indigo -- can't remember what Paama's mother is like
Heart of Gold -- mothers are dead or horrible

That's half a year's worth of reading. I should also mention I'm reading Insitar Khanani's Memories of Ash right now, and here, just as in Thorn, the heroine's mother is evil/treacherous.

One positive set of portrayals stands out: Lois McMaster Bujold. Ista is a decent mother to Iselle in Paladin of Souls, and of course we have Cordelia Vorkosigan. Both women are very much whole/complete people.

Wydrin's mother is great!
She appears a bit in book 1 , but has a key role in book 3, The silver tide --> The Copper Cat trilogy by Jen Williams

I'm imagining some author's take on this, ala Scolzi's Redshirts. Where do all the mothers go?

The mother in the The Hunger Games is fairly prominent, but that's getting outside of the fantasy genre.

Jenny Waynest is a nicely rounded character in the Winterlands series - witch, spouse and mother to two sons. The first two roles are most prominent, but she does right by her sons in the second and third books.

The Harry Potter series has quite a few dead or nasty mums, but there's always Molly Weasley.
Charity Carpenter in Jim Butcher's Dresden Files.

>5 Cecrow: The mother-daughter relationship in Hunger Games is terrible. Katniss has no respect for her mother. Her mother let the family nearly starve to death because of her grief.

>1 kceccato: If you listen to any psychology, this may be a symptom of a writer not having a positive relationship with their mother and as such not writing a wonderful mother in their stories. Or having an antagonistic woman figure in their life is how they translate to their writing.

Other problems may be the writer doesn't know how to properly characterize what you seek, so just doesn't write it. It could also be easier for the plot to not bring the parents into it or make the parents no longer around. Character motivation driven by a lack of parents. (Potter has this as character motivation, partially) A loving mother doesn't always lead to properly adventurous or motivated characters, supposedly through at least one writing course I've seen. (And disagree with.)

>3 kceccato: The Dresden Files has an antagonistic mother of the PC. Really don't want to go there...

I'd definitely chalk it up most often to the story not calling for a parental relationship. It's one of those extraneous things the author excises when there's nothing for the parent to do in the story, and the most convenient excuse is "she's dead", etc. Except that doesn't explain why we see fathers more often, or references to them.

Only one that's coming to mind from a scan down my most recent reads is fairly minimal plot impact, and it's one where I haven't read the final book yet to know if there's a switch coming up. The protagonist's mother in Naomi Kritzer's Dead Rivers trilogy is treated as somewhat suspect due to her connections to the bad guy, but in Book 2 there are definite indications that she's more trustworthy than the daughter gives her credit for.

Clara Kalliam in the Dagger & the Coin is shown to have a good relationship with her daughter, but her son is the more plot-relevant character.

10: If fathers and mothers were equally absent or portrayed negatively, this wouldn't even be worth noticing. Yet fathers and father figures abound. Mentors are almost always men. The absence or villainization of mothers ties in with fantasy's difficulties with depicting older women in general.

I suppose Nanny Ogg of Discworld would count as a positively portrayed mother. Sybil Vimes as well. Both are wonderful characters.

I was discussing this phenomenon recently with a friend with regards to fairy tales. It started off with Disney movies where the mothers are all absent (orphaned, dead, soon to be killed off) or terrible. Lots of great loving dads around though, some grandparents/godparents. Perhaps fairy tale influences on fantasy are part of the reason for this trope? Even looking through my library I don't see anything with a present mother figure. VERY few good mothers but in a first chapter or so then the kids are transported to a different location.

>13 janemarieprice: Perhaps mothers would be too helpful.

Oh! That made me think of Nita Callahan's mother in the Young Wizards series, and in particular, the fifth book, A Wizard's Dilemma. Not that Betty Callahan is too helpful - she does it just right.

There's a great mother-daughters team in Dragontamer's Daughters by Kenton Kilgore, while the missing nominal dragon tamer father is, well, slightly flakey if well-meaning.

I just remembered that in the last book of the enchanted forest series, Cimorene is a motherand she is pretty awesome.

16: Good catch! I haven't read the last two books in that series, but I've heard the last book focuses on her son... and was actually written first, so Wrede was obviously so taken with that character that she back-tracked to tell her story.

It's been a while since I've read it, but I seem to recall Keladry of Pierce's Protector of the Small series has a pretty okay mom, though her role isn't too big. Madeleine L'Engle also works supportive mothers into her stories; she likes to write in-tact families.

>12 kceccato: I suppose Nanny Ogg of Discworld would count as a positively portrayed mother. Sybil Vimes as well. Both are wonderful characters.

And Margrat! She traipses around with her newborn in a sling in Carpe Jugulum, I think. And stops off to change her nappy in the middle of Very Important Stuff(TM). When Granny Weatherwax goes AWOL, Nanny Ogg becomes the de facto Crone, Magrat becomes the Coven's Mother instead of Nanny, and Agnes Nitt is the Maiden.

Speaking of witches, you'd think they'd be plenty of fantasy books with mothers (good or bad) as part of the Crone/Mother/Maiden coven triumvirate, but apart from Discworld, I can't think of any...

Lackey's Valdemar series has various mothers, some bad, but mostly trying to be good. I am especially fond of the griffon female and the human queen exchanging notes on raising twins in Winds of Fury(?). Keisha and her mother have a mostly good relationship in Owlflight, where the rough places are just normal for finding a new balance as children become adults.

Kate Chant in The Changeover is a present and rounded character (disorganized, humorous, loving single mom with a boyfriend).

The Witches has a loving grandmother.
Tehanu's protagonist is a mother who gets along with her daughter and adoptive daughter.
Sevenwaters generally has good mother/child relationships.

21: With Sevenwaters, it depends. In Daughter of the Forest, Son of the Shadows, and Child of the Prophecy, the heroines' mothers are all dead, and the hero's mother in Daughter of the Forest is a despicable human being. Child of the Prophecy, however, is interesting because it shows the young heroine of Son of the Shadows now as a mother in her middle years. I was very disappointed with Marillier's decision to kill off Sorcha before we had a chance to see her in her motherly role, so I was particularly pleased to see Liadan in a substantial supporting role in the third book.

Creidhe in Foxmask has a living and loving mother, even though we don't see much of her. The male lead's mother has a bigger (and still sympathetic) role and acts as a wise, kind mentor to Creidhe, so that one goes in the Win column.

In the second Sevenwaters trilogy, the heroines' mother is still living (or at least I remember her still being alive as of Seer of Sevenwaters; I have not read Flame of Sevenwaters yet). My only problem with her is that she isn't very interesting. Marillier usually does an admirable job of making her female characters compelling and complex in their traditional roles, but this lady remains an insubstantial shadow, at least in the volumes I've read.

Interesting question. At bottom I think there's always that inability to see women as people, and mothers in particular as totally immersed in, drowned by, just that one aspect--motherhood. So they tend to be seen or represented as boring monomaniacs--if they are "good" mothers--or simply evil when they are "bad" mothers. And a bad mother seems to be anyone who is not unequivocally, totally, at all times dedicated to and sacrificing for her offspring. Fathers can have lives and interests away from the family, heck, they can be absent for decades, and still count as good fathers and attractive figures. But a mother doing the same? Pretty much still unthinkable.

>22 kceccato: In Son of the Shadows, I thought Liadan and Niamh had a good relationship with their mother - until she passed away; I didn't like that, either - and Liadan became a rather kick-ass mother, herself.  In Flame of Sevenwaters, the protagonist had a complicated relationship with her mother, but neither were enemies (I really enjoyed the book, so I hope you like it when you get around to it).  Twixt Firelight and Water sees several deaths, but that's in part due to the old goat's longevity (Sorcha's estranged brother), and the protagonist appears to have had a good relationship with her stepmothers.

I've been on a Patricia McKillip kick lately and I liked the relationships of mothers with their adult daughters in both The Tower at Stony Wood and The Bell at Sealey Head.

26: Nyx of the Cygnet duology also has a wise and sympathetic mother, as I recall. Nyx is one of several daughters, so it's a good read for those who specifically value the mother/daughter relationship.

I haven't read it yet -- it's high on my To-Read list -- but I've heard Twelve Kings in Sharakai also features a strong relationship between mother and daughter.

We don't see them until the end except in flashback, but Inej in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom comes from an intact family and loves and is loved by both her parents. Considering that none of the other six protagonists can say the same, that's a pretty big deal.

Keladry of Mindelan's mother in Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small books: she supports her youngest daughter's decision to be the first openly female page/squire/knight since Alanna of Trebond did her training.

Rachel Morgan's mother in Kim Harrison's The Hollows books is present and has a good relationship with her adult daughter.

Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan books feature Miles Vorkosigan's mother, Cordelia Vorkosigan. She stars in the first two books (as Cordelia Naismith), and her own mother (with whom she always has a good relationship) is also still alive although she only gets mentioned in passing most of the time. In later books, there's also Drou Koudelka, mother and ex-bodyguard, whose daughter reflects on pretty much this very question:

QUOTE:
Tante Cordelia’s brows rose. “Is that how you see marriage? As the end and abolition of yourself?”
Kareen realized belatedly that her remark might be construed as a slur on certain parties here present. “It is for some people. Why else do all the stories end when the count’s daughter gets married? Hasn’t that ever struck you as a bit sinister? I mean, have you ever read a folk tale where the princess’s mother gets to do anything but die young? I’ve never been able to figure out if that’s supposed to be a warning, or an instruction.”
Tante Cordelia pressed her finger to her lips to hide a smile, but Mama looked rather worried.
“You grow in different ways, afterward,” Mama said tentatively. “Not like a fairy tale. Happily ever after doesn’t cover it.”
Da’s brows drew down; he said, in an odd, suddenly uncertain voice, “I thought we were doing all right . . .”

ENDQUOTE

Bujold again - Fawn Bluefield's parents are both alive, and loving. They want the best for their daughter - even though they may not be certain how that might be achieved.

I'd actually say that Gwendolyn's mother in The Aeronaut's Windlass isn't so much antagonistic as she knows her sixteen-year-old daughter is a contrary little madam, and the best way to get her to do something is to tell her not to do it. Gwendolyn's mother is a bright, sensible woman - and Gwendolyn is immature, opinionated, and overconfident. (It'll be interesting to watch her grow up...)

I agree with the above about getting parents out of the way so that the protagonist doesn't have that emotional backing: it makes things so much more difficult for the main character when they can't call mum for help and support.

Regarding absent fathers, I think we run into problems of social setting. Even now, it's almost always the mother who stays at home with the kids, doing the majority of the emotional support/parenting. Dad goes out to work and earns the money, quite often working long hours. So it's a lot easier to think of ways to get Dad out of the picture without killing him off (war, job, whatever) than Mum. Or, even if he is around, Dad is more likely to be distant/busy (due to the aforementioned job), but Mum, being the primary childcarer, is more likely to have time to support the protagonist. Which is what an author really doesn't need when they're trying to really screw up the protagonist's life.

Plus, Dads aren't supposed to be great, loving parents the way mothers are: single fathers are supposed to be stressed and slightly incompetent, even if they want to do their best. In the single-dad type family, there's often a glaring parental hole where the absent mother should be, because a mere father can't possibly measure up. Such as in Beauty and the Beast - Dad is a nice guy, but still ends up getting his daughter into trouble.

I was thinking of Mercedes Thompson, but then remembered that her relationship with her mother is even more complicated than my last recommendation, and she doesn't feature often by any stretch.  She is, at the very least, a fun character when she's around.  And even early in the series, Mercy herself gets to be a mother-figure.

27: Good call on Gwendolyn's mother -- she is actually more sympathetic than her daughter is. However, the relationship is still an antagonistic one. (I had so many issues with that darn book that irritate me the more I think about them. And I really think all my problems could have been solved with the presence of ONE female aeronaut under Captain Grimm's command, even if all she had was a walk-on part, since Grimm and his crew are the only good guys in the book who never need rescuing.

28: Patricia Briggs is really not good at giving her female protagonists other women with whom to interact. In the lives of her Exceptional Women, only guys are important. I don't get a vibe of Anita Blake-style female misogyny; it's just that other women don't MATTER. Masques still bothers me. In the entire book, only one female character besides the heroine is even important enough to get a name -- and she's a child who gets killed off within a chapter of her introduction. I haven't been able to read anything else by Briggs since then, though her Hurog Duology still has my TBR attention.

This pattern has not gone unnoticed elsewhere; Tor.com just shared an article about instances of positive mom models in SFF:
http://www.tor.com/2017/05/12/science-fiction-and-fantasys-best-moms-who-arent-d...

30: Great article. I also rolled my eyes a bit at the omission of Cordelia Vorkosigan.