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1Carnophile
Come, let us hasten to a higher plane
Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
Their indices bedecked from one to n,
Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
Come, every frustrum longs to be a cone
And every vector dreams of matrices.
Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:
It whispers of a more ergodic zone.
In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space
Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways.
Our asymptotes no longer out of phase,
We shall encounter, counting, face to face.
I'll grant thee random access to my heart,
Thou'lt tell me all the constants of thy love;
And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove,
And in our bound partition never part.
For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel,
Or Fourier, or any Boole or Euler,
Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers,
Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell?
Cancel me not - for what then shall remain?
Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
A root or two, a torus and a node:
The inverse of my verse, a null domain.
Ellipse of bliss, converge, O lips divine!
The product of our scalars is defined!
Cyberiad draws nigh, and the skew mind
Cuts capers like a happy haversine.
I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
Bernoulli would have been content to die,
Had he but known such a² cos 2 φ!
Lem, The Cyberiad
Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
Their indices bedecked from one to n,
Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
Come, every frustrum longs to be a cone
And every vector dreams of matrices.
Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:
It whispers of a more ergodic zone.
In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space
Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways.
Our asymptotes no longer out of phase,
We shall encounter, counting, face to face.
I'll grant thee random access to my heart,
Thou'lt tell me all the constants of thy love;
And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove,
And in our bound partition never part.
For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel,
Or Fourier, or any Boole or Euler,
Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers,
Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell?
Cancel me not - for what then shall remain?
Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
A root or two, a torus and a node:
The inverse of my verse, a null domain.
Ellipse of bliss, converge, O lips divine!
The product of our scalars is defined!
Cyberiad draws nigh, and the skew mind
Cuts capers like a happy haversine.
I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
Bernoulli would have been content to die,
Had he but known such a² cos 2 φ!
Lem, The Cyberiad
2Carnophile
Impure Mathematics
"Once upon a time, pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix..."
"Once upon a time, pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix..."
3PaulFoley
2> haha. (But it should be "Heaviside", not "heavyside"; and presumably "exchlf" should have been "the vilest language" not "the vilest oath"...had to look that one up)
4Carnophile
I just assumed exchlf was some obsure function, like arctan.
5bnielsen
I've seen it with Abscissa rather than exchlf. Some computer science students have been tampering with the text I guess since the rest is pure math jargon.
(Exchlf is an ancient computer programming language more or less native to Manchester University. Manchester University, late 1950's would be my guess).
(Exchlf is an ancient computer programming language more or less native to Manchester University. Manchester University, late 1950's would be my guess).
6Halcongris
I used to program in Exchlf. It stands for "Extended CHLF" and CHLF stands for Camridge-Harwell-London-Farnborough
7Carnophile
This link invites you to contribute "the most intellectual joke you know." Not all of them involve math, but a lot do.
My favorite:
“To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.”
My favorite:
“To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.”
8Carnophile
Oh my God, this is excellent: A little farther down, someone suggests Googling the word "recursion." Try it, and see what happens!
