Membreislandkeeper

It was in tremendous shape before 100% disability put me on the slippery slope of Medicaid--make or recieve as a gift more than $20 in a month, it's taken out of your next disability check and Medicaid.Yet the $10,000 a year you have to live on with two minor children, doesn't cover utilities monthly, and never food and clothes for growing kids and property taxes and life.( Rent, mortgage--it's not in there.) Meaning I had to move to the 100-year-old Florida childhood home of my ex-husband (who I had to divorce to get Medicaid , as he got Medicare and for me to get Medicaid, the head of my household had to qulaify for it, which, as he qualified for Medicare, he didn't. But divorced,I am head of my household, so I and the kids finally got medical.
Me,taxpayer for over 20 years, I was, federal income, property tax, commercial property tax--and am still paying a few thousand a year in property taxes-- but my governor said to a standing ovation that it was time the people on Medicaid learned everything in life isn't free,":like the rest of us had to." The dolt, I am the rest of us, it's just that I'm a dying one,but the 18-year-old boy who died in a Jeep crash last night wasn't marked for death, and died before I did. I think it's high time they stopped marking me as dead, useless,not worth anything, not even worth an honest assessment. Hey, brothers and sisters, I learned everything in life wasn't free, I'm the rest of you.I haven't been free-loading all my life--that's not what "Medicaid" means. And if you're wanted to think so, it is so you won't try anything national-health like and hurt all the HMO rich guys supporting all our politicians that win, and owe.Try saying everyone on national, public health in Canada or England doesn't have any self-discipline and see if you get out alive.But somehow our fat cats still wink wink think it will work here. These poor people -- Mama said most of them never had anything to begin with.--Wrong.
I have every book I got as a child, a teen, a young woman studying children's lit, an inveterate reader.I bought books at library sales for the kids I'd have one day throughout my 20s and 30's; one could finally read them when I was 45.
I have books about my grandparents, with chapters about them, by their friends, by them. I have about 500 journals ,from blank books to college-ruled notebooks, mine and my grandmother's and my twin's.I have home video of my children's first 14 years.I have movies I was moved by. I still buy books and magazines every month,instead of make-up and nail polish or clothes or a malt or a candy bar..I'll be buying books when I die. It's just that, in a house smaller than 1000 square feet and three tenants, the books are in boxes. No place to put them. Sad, truly sad, as no one can read them, this way, either.It's a great library.Wish I could see it. I have prayed for a house large enough for bookshelves for 6 years....

I am a kid of 1954 who doesn't know how she got here and 40 years older to boot but is trying hard not to cry,where are you guys, all my brothers ,my sister, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Jacks --a pair o'em--aunts Ruthann, Bea, Katherine,Connie, second cousins Helin and Al Hilde,Ann Young Robinson and her long-time spouse and constant companion,and many once-friends,some just lost or maybe dead, some the latter for sure, we are 60 now;some remote psychologically, those perhaps not a right choice of friendships,once,you think, seeing judgmental folks,stuck dealing with them...in old tired relationships..... try to see everyone as new.
Having in our hearts, rather than judgement and condemnation, love and mercy for each person, we will help each person begin a new life, we will constantly give courage to start afresh. -and I am crossing this grassy interstate median by myself in some strange part of the country, like, needing them. But instead of holding Dad's hand so I won't fall , he fell yesterday and bled 8 hours from his elbow touching the carpet because he's on blood thinners. Didn't take him to a hospital because he just yesterday got out of the hospital after going in for one week on Aug 22 ( wondering if he'd be out by the time we drove his ganddaughter to college the 28th, but sure he'd not feel like driving 8 hours. Ha! He didn't get out til Oct. 10)--went in with one thing, got 10 more in there. 50 days later he can't walk yet and falls when he tries to stand.He was working at a gym 3 times a week for 25 years,since age 60, and swam in his pool daily (plus, cleaned it alone)until just 60 days ago.Well, it could have been worse. Another dude at his gym dropped dead with a weight on his face. Heart attack while weight-lifting at the club. I might feel young comparatively-- well, if I were you, I would, but I was given a year to live in 1996, and that I've lived 16 is like amazing but doesn't bode well for 4 more... I'll gladly join any club of people given a year to live who are on year 20! I'd love to know someone has gotten that far. I still have the same terminal illness.It's not going anywhere.