The Group of Self-avowed and paradoxical bigotry(!*)

This being --however-briefly--the newest just-born of the family of LT's groups of new-borns, allow us to explain who we are.

For the moment, it's just myself, your prospective group's founding member and the fifty-seven other entities of my schizophrenic condition. ;^)

Our group is to be known as the "The Group of Self-avowed and paradoxical bigotry(!*)."

We welcome all fellow self-avowed paradoxical bigots (except as noted below). While we do adhere to a certain number of rules, we try to keep these to a minimum as we go about the process of discovering what they are and why we must have them. If you can't abide by our rules, stay the hell out of our group (please). If you can't tolerate what some other bigots call "foul language," stay the hell out of our group (please).

To qualify for membership here we insist that you be a self-avowed paradoxical bigot. But, if you're interested in belonging--and, frankly, why would you not want to belong?--don't worry: with very few exceptions, which we deeply hate, almost anyone can qualify for membership.

We hope to establish a number of important facts about bigotry and, not least, the fact that there are really so very few people who do not-or, rather, who could not -- qualify for membership if they were only honest.

While of course we do expect you to lie about any number of other things, we insist that you not dissemble in the matter of your bigotry. If you're either an unavowed bigot (we shall come soon enough to the paradoxical part) or a non-bigot, then, God help you, stay the hell out of our group, (please).

It is not sufficient that you avow your bigotry (which, for reasons about to become clear, we ask that you specify); you must also recognise and state some genuinely paradoxical aspect attaching to your bigotry. Please do not resort to trivial paradoxes as a means of qualifying--such as, "I'm a bigot but I really embrace all people," or, "I detest women but my mother is / was a woman." No. By paradoxical we mean something genuinely paradoxical. As a helpful guide, we suggest that you spend a moment (or more, if necessary) reflecting on your avowed bigotry in order to discover one of its inevitably many genuine paradoxes. When one of these strikes you with a certain "Aha!" surprise and you discover that you can neither escape or quite account for this paradox, that should be your clue to its genuine and acceptable character qualifying you to join our company. Please: we know that cheating is common. We know that some who find it too difficult to discover a qualifying paradox on their own are likely to be tempted to ask someone for help. You're only cheating yourself by doing that and you'll probably not feel right about joining on such false pretenses.

In initially mulling over starting this group, I was struck by so many paradoxi (?) that I nearly renounced the idea. But then it hit me: if I embraced the paradoxical aspect as a qualifying factor, my project was saved. Still, please, and once more: do not attempt qualifying on what are obviously silly, bullshit terms--I'm a bigot but I hate bigotry or other bigots. That's not in the proper spirit of the matter and you'll be denied member-in-good-bad-bigotry standing status.

I hope these brief ground rules are sufficiently clear to make your next steps possible. We have few rules here. And there are many, many more rules which we have not as yet discussed because we have not yet discovered and promulgated them.

We close this introduction with this one last--of many more to come--rule of conduct, and a most fitting one at that.

Our official and obligatory Phrase of Welcome to All qualified new members is the following (please see that you strictly observe its use in your first words toward a new member (after which, you needn't use it) :

"Welcome!, you annoying damned blinkered bigot! How you doin'?"

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* : an '!' is optional