Nancy Taylor

So much potential... not yet realized.

I volunteered to read this book in exchange for an honest review. I am far beyond my promised review window and apologize for this, but I have come to realize my dallying on this book is partially due to the product itself. I do not like to write a review that I feel is negative, but sometimes it simply cannot be done otherwise.

The Complimentary Observations

The humorous quality of Ellie, along with her ungracefulness (her self-description) and her inner voice conversations (those with her angelic and devil alter egos), I thought, made the story realistic and a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed her thinking things through with her angel and devil and with the humorous absence of them when she thought she needed them. The author does a fine job keeping the "conversations" in Ellie's head light, even when Ellie has doubts. Too bad she loses her mental selves half-way through the story. I did catch on that she "loses" her angel & devil when shes gains self-confidence and doesn't "need" them. Nevertheless, I enjoyed their tension release.

Not all of Trey is lovable (sometimes he can seem like a cold-hearted @ss, but then again, we're reading from insecure Ellie's POV, and she's not known for being level-headed, but rather jumping to conclusions even the reader knows are illogical), but on the whole, he's a well-enough defined character. Obviously, the two need to have secrets to carry the reader through the story line and wonder which way they will go.

This is a great original story from a debuting author. This gem of a story is a good, original one, even if it needs polishing. Descriptions of activity/action would benefit from meaningful rewriting. Succinct-ness is an art form lost in this piece, but one from which the book could benefit.

The Room for Improvement

Originally, I thought I was receiving an ARC version of this story not a publish-ready polished copy. Thinking this, I expected this book to have misspellings and grammatical errors, because that is the purpose of an ARC -- to flush out the errors, polish the story, the characters, the consistency/context and the actual writing before publication.

Unfortunately, the grammar and punctuation errors (more specifically, the use of apostrophes where they should not have been used or missing where they should have been used, commas in the wrong place or missing altogether, incorrect spellings (misspellings not relating to the differences between the English vs the American ways of spelling a word), the inconsistent use of italics for Ellie's thought-discussions with her alter egos and the inconsistency in flow between the h and her alter egos is distracting to the reader, causing one to read and reread a passage in order to puzzle out the intended writing. Punctuation serves a purpose in communication. Misusing and missing punctuation causes the reader confusion and can alter, sometimes significantly, the story.

Cliffhangers? Hate 'em. An absolute and instant turn-off to any series for me. Like others, I do not have an interest in devoting time to a book only to be given half of a story. There are far too many complete stories waiting to carry me away for me to invest my limited reading time on an incomplete effort. A good story-teller, if there is enough story to warrant a series, will be able to end the first story leaving the reader with a sense of completion while, at the same time, leaving the reader eager for more. Although a cliffhanger may not be intended as such, a cliffhanger feels like a cheap demeaning ploy to extract the cost of another book, hardback, paperback OR electronic, from an unknowing reader.

I recommend this story; it is entertaining. BUTI recommend that readers wait for a corrected, edited version. I was surprised to learn that this book has been in the marketplace at Amazon since March, with the sequel available at both Amazon and Smashword. I certainly hope that I was given an "old" version, and that my unedited version is not the same one available for purchase. I would have been disappointed to have paid for this book in this condition. I wish Ms. Taylor much success in this and the subsequent story, though ask that Ms. Taylor write a suitable ending to this story and remove the cliffhanger. Based on reading the reviews for the sequel, it appears there is a second story, rather than simply the second half.
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