Hilary T. Smith

Holy...! It freaked me out.
Around 70% I started feeling like the world is listing sideways and my mind is straining to break its constrains and flee.

Reminds me a little of [b:Cracked Up to Be|3521484|Cracked Up to Be|Courtney Summers|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1400197223s/3521484.jpg|3563198].
I like this one more though.

The resolution... Well. I'd like the ending to be more.
There are a lot of things left unsaid and the whole family Situation is left unexplored. I know the story was focusing on Kiri, but still.

Overall, give it a try.… (plus d'informations)

Kiri’s parents are away on a cruise and have left her on her own. I think she’s 17? She is part of a musical duo with her best friend, Lukas, and they have Battle of the Bands coming up. Kiri is also a very good piano player and has a test(? competition?) coming up. When she receives a strange phone call about her (long-dead) sister, she learns something (big) her parents never told her about her sister’s death. This starts a series of events that has Kiri spiralling out of control.

I didn’t like Kiri, nor many of the choices she made. The book became kind of chaotic as we moved more and more toward the end. I did like the Vancouver setting – it’s always fun recognizing places. I also thought the idea of Kiri never learning what she does about her sister’s death until the start of this book (5 years later) is pretty unrealistic. I can’t imagine she wouldn’t have heard it somewhere, even if not from her parents or brother. The book still (at least more at the start and throughout the first half or so) interested me enough to consider it “ok”.… (plus d'informations)

I read the first edition of this book when I was first diagnosed in my early twenties. Unlike many, I had an accurate diagnosis almost immediately; nearly being hospitalized due to intense mania with psychotic features tends to have that effect. Go figure.

Smith's book came at exactly the right time and with exactly the right words. Especially when you're in your twenties, you try on new identities, and being diagnosed as bipolar hands you a brand new one to try on. It's a little like a hideous sweater from your Aunt Thelma that you have to wear to Thanksgiving to be polite; you don't necessarily want it, but you have to wear it anyway, so you might as well own it.

One of the best things I could have read was her advice about not over-identifying yourself with your diagnosis, and I'm not talking about the whole "you are more than your diagnosis" (which is good advice, but still touchy-feely and paradoxically, makes you identify more with your diagnosis); Smith is the opposite of touchy-feely. She tells you, "Dude, knock it off, or you're going to be That Guy with the one schtick he's defined by. Don't be That Guy."

At a time when I might have run with being That Guy whose whole schtick was wearing ugly sweaters, I needed that. (Like, really needed that. There's always that insufferable douche who manages to mention their ugly sweater in every conversation, and I could have been that douchecanoe.)

I do wish she talked about the opposite problem, as she briefly addressed in her first edition, which was under-identifying. Sometimes I go long spells without any episodes and think, "It was a misdiagnosis! I'm fine!" until, oh, right. During particularly uneventful long spells, I really start to get paranoid - "Am I making this up? I'm fine. I was just angsty" and I wish someone had told me that's (a) completely normal, and (b) no, don't do that, because you end up doing stupid stuff later on.

Also, Smith doesn't ignore Bipolar I. People, and authors, act weird about Bipolar I. Books give you hints and tricks and tools for living your best life with bipolar II, then give this dry, clinical account of Bipolar I diagnostics and basically tell you to take medication, like, "Yup! No way to have a normal life with Bipolar I. You're fucked." Well, thanks? Or they don't mention it at all, which is sort of worse and sends the same message. (I have a sneaking suspicion that this is because it's easier to destigmatize bipolar II because it's not as overtly scary, and we still don't know how to handle people who hear voices or think government agencies are following them, but that's just a suspicion).

Hers was the first book I read about bipolar that mentions bipolar I and II equally and doesn't get freaked by psychosis. "You think you're the Queen of Egypt? Cool! Maybe don't tell people that, but it happens." She doesn't ignore it or give the message that you will Never Have a Normal Life and should be Locked Away Forever, You Crazy Person. She doesn't make it this Big, Scary Thing. It's just another part that could happen, and that's okay. Here's how to not let it screw up your life. And honestly? I really needed that. I still do. People love making lists of successful, famous people who have/had bipolar... II. It can give a girl a complex, you know? But it doesn't have to! It can just be a different kind of hurdle.

I love her tone, as well. Some books are dry and just kind of repeat the DSM definitions; others act like you need to be ~soothed~ because you're so traumatized. What I wanted back then - and now - is practical, matter-of-fact advice that acknowledges you have a life and responsibilities and do not have the money or time to develop a comprehensive, thirty-year plan to handle your disorder, and Welcome to the Jungle delivers in spades. She strikes just the right balance between brutally honest, funny, and compassionate.

Oh, and by practical, I really mean it. Most books stop short at "Keep a mood chart!" and "Keep a routine!", which is great, but hey, I'm bipolar. I suck at routines. Bipolar is like, the anti-routine. Chapter 6 actually has some techniques for how to keep from going into a full-blown episode when you feel it creeping in, which is what I need.

She can get a little hippie-dippie, but she's upfront and completely okay with the fact that not everyone is into meditating and herbal teas; it's presented as another option that you can try, not, "These magic crystals will cure you!". The lack of information on medication can inadvertently lead to the assumption that she's anti-medicine, but she throws in just enough, "Maybe take your meds, that's a good thing", that I don't think it's that bad of advice. Mainly, she focuses on a holistic approach: treat your mind with meds, treat your body with stress techniques, and don't forget that one affects the other.

Finally, if you've read the first edition and are worried this is a rerun with a new theme song, fret not. About 80% of this edition is new material, with a more mature, though no less funny, take.… (plus d'informations)

This book is crazy. It's a crazy book about crazy people and you will feel crazy reading it.

I Loved it.

Have you ever been on a swing-set or merry-go-round or a roller coaster and when you went to bed you couldn't stop spinning? That's what this book felt like.

The pacing was PERFECT. There was never a moment where I was bored and when I had to stop to eat or pee or watch Big Bang Theory it was really hard to pull myself away.

THE WRITING. Oh my god, the WRITING. Suffice to say it was lovely, it was beautiful and it was crazy. The writing made this book feel like this book.

And the characters. There were all exactly as they should be, crazy and insecure and imperfect because that's how people are and that was perfect. The relationships were tangled and it didn't make sense and that was perfect because that's how life is.

And the title. The title fit this book perfectly. Sometimes, in a book the wrods in the title are used. I'm pretty good at catching it when that happens, and it didn't happen in this book but the title Wild Awake--I can't imagine a better title for this book. The characters were Wild Awake and I was Wild Awake while I was reading it.

I think this book is crazy, beautiful, perfect.… (plus d'informations)