Nancy Jo Sales

As a parentlike figure in the lives of two tweenage girls I found this to be one of the most seriously terrifying books I have ever read.

The tasks of adolescence are difficult enough without the overt "sexification" introduced to, and expected of, barely pubescent children. Girls hold themselves to unreasonable standards of physical beauty in order to impress boys as well as other girls; tastemakers and online "influencers" have fundamentally altered the landscape of childhood. Children feel an accelerating need to keep up with the perceived lives of their peers and "FOMO" lends a frantic sense to adolescent and young adult lives.

I chose to read this book because I do not use online tools like Instagram, Tik-Tok, etc. and I can't imagine giving any sh*ts about what strangers on the Internet think of me. I was about to say these tools are not a part of my world (but of course they are, unfortunately -- just because I don't use them doesn't mean they don't affect people I love), and that I don't care about these sites (but of course I do, because as a responsible parentlike person I must be aware of their pernicious influence).

All I can really say is this: If you have children, or if you love children, read the book. Be aware of the struggles your children face, even if you feel those struggles aren't real -- they are horrifyingly real to them. As a smack-in-the-middle Gen-Xer, I found myself incredulous that anyone - child or adult - could mistake the illusory online world for the real one, but I was wrong.

… (plus d'informations)

I received copy of this book for free from the publisher (Hachette Books) in exchange for an honest review.

I was looking forward to reading this book because I’ve been using dating apps off and on for almost 2 years now. I was curious to see how my experience compared to the author’s.

The book started off rocky. It felt a little discombobulated in the beginning because it would jump around from different points in her life. It was hard to follow what was going on.

The book could have been organized better. It was divided up into 4 sections, but there wasn’t any reason for how it was divided. There weren’t any section names or anything. The book would have benefitted from being told in chapters and thus would have been easier to navigate.

What I did like about the book was the critical analysis of dating apps. It was incredibly well researched. The author included a ton of statistics like that 44% of Tinder users said they used the app for “confidence-boosting procrastination” and that over 70% said that they’d never met up with one of their matches in real life” (pg. 167). Yup. I have definitely encountered those people. I also agreed with a dating historian she mentioned who said that on Bumble, “the man doesn’t even have to lift a finger to even type you out a three-word message because now he’s not allowed to. So once again, women are shouldering so much more of the burdens of dating” (pg. 159). Amen to that! I’ve always hated the “women message first” aspect of Bumble. It does not empower me.

The book started getting better around the second half. That is when it became more focused, so it was a lot easier to follow and I was able to enjoy her personal story more.

Overall, this book wasn’t perfect but I appreciated the author’s candor and research. If you’re curious about dating apps, but don’t want to venture into the world yourself, consider reading this book.… (plus d'informations)

This memoir is a bit rambling; although Sales dwells on dating apps and their suckiness, I thought she was on firmer terrain in talking about the pervasiveness of misogyny in contemporary life, especially in sexual relationships. But it jumps around, including to the pandemic present where Sales talks about writing this book and talking to stupid young male screenwriters about how to turn it into a movie or TV show.

The memoir is organized into a handful of large chapters which in turn are broken up by very small segments--such a personal memoir must have been exhausting to write, and the reader can feel it in the staccato rhythm of insights and developments.

Ultimately, it is a fascinating book but it could have been tighter.… (plus d'informations)