Ariel Leve

As I read this I found myself thinking the author's therapist must have suggested she 'write a letter' and this book was the result. A few lines from the opening paragraph of chapter 50 show what I mean, "Sometimes those stories free us. Sometimes they free others. When they are not told, they free no one." The stories Ariel Leve tells describe a stealthy sort of abuse that transcends the physical and includes many of the classic tactics used by narcissists. I hope writing this book was therapeutic for its author and will be illuminating for others.

I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.… (plus d'informations)

This is an account of the author's childhood with an immature, self-absorbed, narcissistic, and abusive mother. What makes this memoir different from others of its ilk are (1) that her childhood and adolescence occurred in the upper east side of NYC, one of the most affluent areas in the U.S., and (2) that her mother was a rather well-known poet and early feminist. The author grew up in a rarefied atmosphere, with such people as Andy Warhol regularly attending her mother's frequent parties.

While this memoir is compelling (often even mesmerizing) to read, it's simultaneously deeply upsetting and frustrating. The author's mother no doubt had serious psychological problems, and it is terribly sad to see how the author, as a young girl, was forced to endure the fallout of her mother's craziness and self-absorption. On the other hand ... some of the abuse that the author describes honestly wasn't as bad as what so many other children have suffered. The author did grow up enjoying many privileges, including private school. She had a father who loved her, although he lived in southeast Asia, and for some reason did not do whatever it took to move himself back to NY, so that he could be part of his daughter's daily life. She had a nanny who took reasonably good care of her, and other adults who obviously cared about her welfare. The author's tendency to endlessly perseverate about her abusive childhood, and her inexplicable inability to draw clear boundaries with her mother as an adult are very frustrating. The author sees herself as forever damaged and goes to great lengths to convince her readers of that. Many children have overcome worse (read "The Sound of Gravel" by Ruth Wariner for an inspiring example), and have demonstrated their resilience and their ability to transcend. "Don't be a victim," the author's mother once said to her; that was a rare instance of her mother providing good advice, and Ms. Leve would have done well to heed it. Enough with the navel-gazing, Ms. Leve, time to move on.… (plus d'informations)

It isn't often I pick up a book of essays to read, but occasionally I find they make good in between reading--even better than a short story collection in some ways. The essays are short and perfect for those moments when you don't have a lot of time to spare but must get in your reading. Although it took me a few months to make my way through Ariel Leve's collection of essays (I read it in between novels and short stories) , it was an enjoyable read, nonetheless. Leve's humor shines through in each essay and yet I couldn't help but catch a bit of sadness underneath as well, however unintentional (and maybe that's just me).

Journalist Ariel Leve compiled a series of essays about her life and thoughts into It Could Be Worse, You Could Be Me. She contemplates giving up coffee when she discovers it improves memory, discusses the bias against napping in bed, and why looking forward to anything is overrated. The author is a self-described worrier. My favorite section of the book, and the one I could most relate to was the one where she discusses health issues. I'm not so sure I'd go so far as to say I enjoyed that colonoscopy though!

As I read this collection, I found myself relating to some of the stories the author shared. Maybe a little too well. Taking compliments, for example--neither Leve or I are good at accepting them. And evidently we both have that constant scowl or lack of a smile on our face because people assume something is wrong just because we aren't smiling. And like Leve, I hate it when people tell me to cheer up just because I am not wearing that expected smile.

There were other essays I was less able to identify with, but they were no less entertaining. I have two friends who share the same life philosophy as Ariel Leve and could see them in every story. I am trying to decide which of them to loan the book to first . . .… (plus d'informations)