Adrienne Gordon

1 and 1/2 stars.
This was a strange read and a rare did-not-finish. I got to 85% and just could go no further.
To begin, there is the skeleton of a very interesting story here with some very neat and unique concepts (which is why I gave it 2 stars). However, these pluses get lost in the negatives, which I believe could have been majorly rectified with an editor and some non-biased beta-readers.

I *think* this is intended as a young adult science fiction book, but there were points where it was very hard to tell. I believe that YA books should not include the word "arousal".

The main character, Melissa, starts off at 13 (two weeks from 14) then suddenly she is 15, and I think by the end of the book she is meant to be 16? At times she sounded like a cry-baby 6 year old (and man, does she ever cry. Every other paragraph she is crying about something) while other times she suddenly sounds like she is in her 20s, expressing knowledge and an advanced vocabulary. All of the "teens" in this book are like this - they all seems older than they should, and there is the typical lack of adult supervision that is in many YA books (simply so the plot doesn't have to include parents / adult voices)

The next thing that irks me severely was Melissa's constant focus on being Fat (it is a result of her being the barrier of a great power called Sussa) Perhaps this was meant as a moral lesson in being okay with your body type, but it honestly felt more like an attack on overweight kids. It was handled wrong, and the repetitive focus on it by Melissa made me cringe by the last half.

Then there was the jumpiness. There was no easing into any of the plot-changes, something again that could have been helped by an editor. The plot changes were sudden and often confusing, as were the drastic changes in the characters which led to a feeling of inconsistency. There were also a plethora of typos.

I am a bit disappointed, because there are the bones for a really great story here that would be unique and imaginative, but the execution of it fails. My recommendation would be to pull it, give it to an editor and a team of beta readers, and republish. It *could* be something amazing.

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