Ruth Everhart

Summary: A discussion of sexual harassment and assault in the church, the impact on victims and the response of many churches more focused on institutional reputation than protecting victims and justice for the perpetrators.

Ruth Everhart tells two #MeToo stories of her own in this book. In the first, she was raped at gunpoint in college. Part of her healing was testifying against her rapist, seeing him convicted and sent to prison. In many ways, the second incident was harder. Serving as an assistant pastor under Zane Bolinger, a respected senior pastor, she became the object of inappropriate attention, culminating with being forcibly kissed in her own office.

The early chapters of this book use this incident to trace how the dynamics of sexual assault often play out in churches, beginning with the patriarchal power exercised by Bolinger in assaulting her. She describes her efforts to seek redress from the church's personnel committee, how they accepted the pastor's account that he had acted from "pure Christian love," burying the assault in pious language that protected the abuser and the institution. She concluded that she had to leave.

Perhaps the most chilling part of this narrative was the subsequent consequences in her former church. It did not have to do with Reverend Bolinger, who was gone by this time, at least not directly. A young man had been sexually abused by a church member. Everhart describes the conspiracy of secrecy that followed that did not report abuse to the authorities or even to the congregation and that elicited a "confession" that failed to acknowledge responsibility. The culture created by Bolinger, one of autocratic leadership that covered over anything detrimental to the church's reputation continued. Healing only began with a process of bringing what had been hidden into the light, eventually resulting in the perpetrator's conviction, and a new policy for handling allegations of sexual abuse.

Everhart then goes on to describe her efforts to bring Bolinger up on charges before the denomination and the mixed results that illustrate how such proceedings often try to bring healing without justice, that neglect the basic issue of sincere apology, and the preservation of power and institutions (including protecting the institution from legal exposure above protecting victims). Subsequent chapters detail the connection between purity culture and rape culture in the church, patterns of betrayal and deceit by perpetrators, not only on victims, but on manipulated church leaders, and the challenge, particularly for women, of finding a voice to speak up, to press for justice.

Everhart interweaves biblical narrative with her own and others narrative. Abuses of power and sexual abuse run through scripture, in the stories of Tamar, of David and Bathsheba, and others. She shows God's concern for the victims, some incorporated into the ancestral line of Jesus. Everhart also speaks frankly and practically about what denominations and churches can do to care for survivors rather than institutions, from honest language ("rape" instead of "had sex with") to involving the whole church in how churches will respond to sexual abuse.

There has been a #MeToo reckoning taking place in our culture, from exposing assault by physicians to gymnasts and other athletes, to movie moguls and political figures. The Catholic Church is paying huge damages for past abuses. Bill Hybels, longtime leader of Willow Creek Church, was forced to step down due to a pattern of improper sexual behavior. These are stories now being played out in many churches. Everhart's book ought to be a must-read for every church governance board. The church in the greatest danger is the one that says, "it won't happen here." Those are the ones that practice institutional denial when it does, including shaming, or shunting aside the survivors of abuse. Those are the ones that wittingly or unwittingly create a culture where abuse can continue unchecked--until the reckoning.

Everhart does not want your church to be among these but rather among those who create brave and safe spaces where these matters are spoken of with candor, where survivors can find support rather than shame, where "brightline" policies are in place that discourage or identify potential abusers early, and if abuse occurs, it is made public and prosecuted, not covered up. This is a book filled with hope for survivors and gritty encouragement for leaders who are ready to set aside patriarchy and power for protecting and raising up the vulnerable, who are willing to expose the ugly underside of human behavior to Christ's truth and justice.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions I have expressed are my own.… (plus d'informations)

I was interested in reading this memoir. However, I read the Publisher's note at the beginning of the book which says the following;

"The story you are about to read it true. The events depicted include violent situations and vulgar language of a kind that typically doesn't appear in books we publish. But after careful consideration, we decided to include some dialogue that, though potentially offensive, is accurate, helps to capture the intensity of the events in an authentic way, and gives a truthful illustration of the human condition."

I realise that I have had this debate before after finding a similar warning in The Tank Man's Son. But maybe negative reviews will raise awareness of this issue eventually. One can only hope...and pray!

It seems to me that Tyndale House Publishers did not consider this matter carefully enough! What about the offence to God? Should a Christian publisher really publish something if they find it necessary to place a health warning at the beginning?

I have written this review to warn other Christian readers away from this book before they waste money on it......see my blog post below for a full discussion on profanity in Christian books.

http://christianmissionaryuk.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/why-its-not-okay-for-christi...… (plus d'informations)

Memoir is brave and honest. While not wanting to let her attackers take her life from her, she soon realizes that literally every single thing that follows in her life has been molded by this fateful night.

Intertwining scripture and feelings about religion felt awkward at times, but when you see the author is now a minister for many years, it's obvious that the feelings were real and remembered as they had been.

I imagine this book would be tough for victims of sexual abuse to read but also highly healing.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you also to Tyndale House Publishers, Inc for providing the complimentary Advanced Readers Copy of this book.… (plus d'informations)