Chuck DeGroat

Important insights into the church narcissism problem

This is a much needed book for the church, especially during a growing awareness among Christians of the damage that can be done by abuse of power and authority. Narcissists in church leadership often are perpetrators of this type of abuse, and are far too often enabled by the people and systems around them.

DeGroat skillfully defines what narcissism is and is not, using current accepted definitions within psychology, although he uses his years of expertise as a psychologist to introduce new insights for understanding this personality disorder. For those who are fans of the Enneagram, DeGroat even dedicates a chapter to demonstrating how narcissism can exist in people in any one of the nine types. Perhaps most intriguing is his proposal that narcissistic tendencies have high representation among church planters and mega-church leaders. This is an important point that likely needs to be taken seriously by denominational leadership when assessing potential ministry candidates.

DeGroat's work provides support for those hurt by the narcissist, by helping them realize that they are not imagining their emotional injuries. At the same time, while DeGroat is trying to raise awareness of the church narcissism problem, he also is more optimistic than many that narcissists can be reformed (although this is a slow and painful process). In part this is based on his proposal that narcissists are deeply hurting people, who are unable to face their real selves. This dis-integration is what lies beneath their destructive behaviour.

I would have liked DeGroat to have provided more data to support this position. While I'm not opposed to this explanation, primarily because I respect his expertise, I tend to be a bit skeptical with approaches that claim a motivation for a psychological issue that appears opposite to the manifestation. Jean Twenge, for example, argues that narcissists are motivated not by poor self esteem, but by a deep infatuation with themselves. DeGroat does not quite cite poor self esteem as what gives rise to narcissism, but he does lean towards there being a shamed and frightened child beneath the narcissist's exterior. It would have been appropriate for him to provide more support for his position, even though this book is intended for a more general, non-academic audience.
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Summary: Explores the expressions narcissism can take in the church, the damage it may do, and healing both for the abused and the narcissists who abuse them.

Chuck DeGroat makes this observation early in this book: "A colleague of mine says that ministry is a magnet for a narcissistic personality--who else would want to speak on behalf of God every week?" As a counselor, Chuck DeGroat has seen both narcissists and the people they leave in their wake. Many of them are in the church--church leaders, pastors, or even the quiet but "indispensable" administrator, who is controlling and has everyone around him or her walking on eggshells.

DeGroat helps us to recognize the narcissist in our church and what attracts them. Particularly, he notes how many of the screening inventories for church planters actually select for narcissists. Using the Enneagram, he shows nine different ways narcissists manifest according to each of the types. He then identifies ten characteristics of the narcissistic pastor including: all decision-making centers on them, impatience, feelings of entitlement, and inconsistency and impulsiveness.. Inwardly, the narcissist struggles with shame and rage.

The insidious aspect of this is that narcissism can infect they entire system of a church. A narcissistic leader. It results in a church unable to be honest. DeGroat describes different times of dysfunctional system and what health looks like. He exposes the gaslighting techniques of the narcissist that make others feel "crazy, uncertain, confused, insecure, and bewildered." This is what life around a narcissist is like and DeGroat helps us see what it is like to be married to one, and why so many such marriages end in divorce.

DeGroat's final chapters chart the process of healing both for individuals and churches who have been abused by narcissist in the church, and the narcissist. Both take time, pealing back the layers of defense. Especially with the narcissist, the challenge is coming to believe that the real person underneath the glittering image of the narcissist is actually far more beautiful.

This is an important book, especially for any of those involved in calling and placing church's leaders. Pastoral search communities need to read this book before embarking on their work. Most of all, those in a situation where the charismatic leader who fills the pews or is indispensable is driving everyone crazy, you might want to read this book to understand what may be going on. Sadly, we often are drawn too much to the glittering images and do not consider what lies beneath. DeGroat relates numerous examples but also offers hope that healing can take place, if people are willing to face the truth.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions I have expressed are my own.… (plus d'informations)

An exploration of the effects of a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) when they have wielded significant influence in a church environment, and what to do about it.

The author has much experience working with those with NPD. He discusses what happens when narcissism enters a church environment; he explains what narcissism means, how it gets manifest, from where it comes, and whereas all of us have some level of narcissism, to be able to see the difference with someone with NPD and its effects. He explores narcissism in terms of each of the nine types in the Enneagram and how each type can manifest narcissistic tendencie. He describes the kinds of behaviors and the inner life of a pastor with NPD. He goes beyond people and sees how systems and cultures can manifest narcissism, normally in the wake of narcissists in positions of power. He addresses gaslighting and the power it has over those affected by it. He then sets forth how people can heal from experiences with NPD church authorities, and extends hope that some with NPD might be able to come to grips with the fear and insecurity haunting them and find health. The appendix features an Enneagram based way forward, giving strategies for assisting those with NPD in each type.

This is a hot button issue, and the book covers narcissism and its effects well. I think most would like to see or hope for more on the assistance and healing end of things, but that is likely not realistic.

A good resource for those in ministry.

**--galley received as part of early review program… (plus d'informations)

Sometimes you find the right book at the right time; Leaving Egypt was that book for me. I embraced the words Chuck De Groat wrote and hugged them to my heart every morning during my quiet time. Here is someone who is speaking too many of us who are holding onto things that are keeping us in bondage. Whether those burdens are actual possessions or addictions, or even comfortable habits that detract from our true purpose in this life, we need help to move on.

Based on the Exodus story, De Groat draws comparisons between Israel’s slavery in Egypt, and deliverance through Moses who leads them through the desert for forty years; with the areas in our lives that we are stuck in. We sometimes, like Israel, are frightened to let go and follow God not knowing what lies ahead. He shows us how we cling to the past, because it’s known, and how we have trouble trusting that God has a better plan and wants freedom for us. This book is a must read for believers who desire a closer walk with God and I believe it could become a Christian classic along side devotionals like Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest. The format is easy to read with short chapters, subsections, and a few key questions to ponder at the end of each chapter. Leaving Egypt can be used as a basis for bible study or group study, and also good reference material for anyone in ministry who counsels the hurting and those struggling with addiction. 5 stars. I read this book through the Amazon Vine program.… (plus d'informations)