Citizens! Threats to our Freedom and Security are everywhere! Commies! Traitors! Terrorists! Mutants! [INSERT NOUN HERE]! In light of the terrible new threat posed by [INSERT NOUN HERE], Your Friend, The Computer has authorised the establishment of a new elite Service Group, the Department of Complex Security, to be overseen by a [INSERT NOUN HERE] Special Co-Ordinator. This new Service Group will be above and beyond existing groups, and hold supreme authority to deal with the constant threat of [INSERT NOUN HERE]. In order to ensure the rapid deployment of this new Group, troubleshooters will be drafted to fight on the front lines against [INSERT NOUN HERE]. Are you ready to battle [INSERT NOUN HERE]? Are you ready to enjoy privileges and benefits far in excess of any other department? The battle against [INSERT NOUN HERE] will be a long one, requiring sacrifices by every citizen - but with your help, future clone-generations will enjoy an Alpha Complex delivered from the threat of [INSERT NOUN HERE]! The War on [INSERT NOUN HERE] starts today!