Although I don't agree completely with Andersen's theology, her message is valuable and important. Christians must understand domestic violence to put a stop to it. Some churches and some Christians exacerbate the problem because they don't realize the abuse is a violation of the marriage vows and cannot be justified or excused by distortion of Scripture. ( )

Fear, desperation, pain, humiliation, and confusion are constant companions to all women who experience abuse of any sort at the hands of their husbands. But the evangelical Christian woman finds herself faced with the unique burden of also needing to know the specific will of God concerning her situation.

I call this a unique burden, because assimilating all the conflicting information she receives from books, well-intentioned Christian friends, family members and spiritual leaders can leave her head spinning--and her ego spiraling...in precisely the wrong direction. To make matters worse, the counsel she receives often ranges from disappointing at best to life-threatening at worst.

The practice of hiding, ignoring and even perpetuating the emotional and physical abuse of women is still rampant within evangelical Christian fellowships, and as slow as our legal systems have been in dealing with violence against women by their husbands, the church has been even slower.

Abuse among Christians often creates a cruel catch-22, as many evangelicals view recommending separation or divorce as unscriptural, but then view the battered/abused woman with contempt for staying in the situation and tolerating the abuse.

Victims quickly pick up on this hypocritical attitude and either leave the church altogether--or begin hiding the abuse. Either way, they are forfeiting the spiritual guidance and emotional support they so desperately need.

The Christian woman whose spirit is being crushed and whose life is endangered by domestic violence needs straight answers--not unrealistic expectations or clichéd, stereotypical platitudes. In this book she will get straight answers, clear scriptural direction and some tough challenges from one who has been there, but is there no longer.

Ministers, friends and family of the abused will find the book informative, useful and challenging as well.

Spousal abuse and domestic violence was not introduced into my life until I reached my late thirties, so I understand both sides of the issue very well. Prior to the abuse, no one could have convinced me that my attitude toward battered and abused women was both casual and condescending, or that I would ever tolerate it myself--yet it was, and I did.

As both a minister and a woman who has experienced abuse, I feel I can contribute a unique, personal perspective to the small but growing data base of books concerned with the issue of domestic violence.

My own experience, together with research and the feedback I have received from many other battered women, has convinced me that, even in these "enlightened" times we live in, the battered/abused woman is still very much alone and confused in her struggle.

It is my prayer that this book will provide answers, bring hope, and prove to be of practical value to both the battered/abused woman and to those she is most likely to turn to for help. ( )