An interesting, pretty horrific story of a very dysfunctional family: mother's mental illness, father's alcoholism, two suicides, etc. Told in an unsettling matter-of-fact way that felt distancing. I kept getting the 8 children mixed up, didn't care all that much about the long family history in the beginning, and wished Kissinger had approached the difficult life she lived more personally rather than as a slightly removed journalist. ( )

i could not stop listening to this book. Meg Kissinger is so good at reporting/documenting/writing her family's history. this is not a light read by any means, but so incredible. it was thought-provoking in so many ways and one i won’t forget. compellingly written and deeply researched. Meg Kissinger shares her story of growing up in a family that fought mental illness behind closed doors in an era where such struggles were not to be talked about openly. Meg has brought to light the reality of the ways we treat people with mental illness and by sharing her story hopes to continue the fight for change. beyond the topic of mental illness there are many other interesting threads of history in this book that i’m dying to unravel further - the 15,000 pilots in training that died on american soil, the boom of pharmaceuticals, the “twilight sleep” that was induced upon pregnant women, John F. Kennedy Jr.’s unrealized dream of better mental healthcare. nowadays we talk more openly about mental illnesses, but there is still a long way to go in how we treat people with mental illness and in some ways it seems as though we have regressed. why after all these years can we as a society still not figure this out? why can’t we do better? when did we stop trying? ( )

This memoir is written by journalist Meg Kissinger, one of eight children born in rapid succession to an emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother and her volatile, alcoholic husband in an Irish Catholic family. It begins in the 1950s when mental health issues weren't publicly acknowledged due to a fear of judgement by the community and a lack of understanding.

Meg's mother was frequently missing with no explanation when she eventually returned. The children were left to sort out their feelings and anxieties on their own. From the outside, their large family lived well with their father earning a very good living as a salesman until the alcoholism rendered him an undesirable employee on numerous occasions. The onset of mental illness in the family resulted in two sibling suicides with others struggling to comprehend the enormity of the loss. Nothing was ever discussed or explained within the family, leading again to everyone sorting out their feelings, accompanied by guilt in not having done something to prevent the suicides.

Meg's transparency about the need for more mental health resources, her advocacy of AA for alcoholics and her pain at the loss of so much in this family makes it an absorbing read. Although told in the first person, it is reminiscent of Hidden Valley Road. We all have so much work to do to destigmatize mental illness for the sakes of those individuals suffering from something as debilitating as a physical illness and their families who need our support and understanding. ( )

[3.75] Those of us who have faced the agony of helping a loved one battle mental illness will find Kissinger’s brave memoir relatable and enlightening. One can cut some slack to the author for the book’s painfully slow start given the fact that she aims to provide readers with revealing snapshots of her seven siblings, parents and grandparents. I didn’t remotely engaged until about a third of the way into the book. Fortunately, the wave of laudable reviews spurred me to read on. These favorable reviews are merited. Kissinger uses her impressive reporting skills to paint a stark portrait of a family that has spent decades coping with mental illness — and the stigma that accompanies this journey. How tempting it can be to store away secrets under the cloak of a cozy, family-focused lifestyle. In the latter chapters where the author focuses on the power of investigative journalism to spur reforms, she wisely acknowledges the fine line that exists between playing the role of an advocate for mentally ill people and being the beacon of light that casts a spotlight on the issue. Her message is one that should be stressed in journalism classes: Don’t be an advocate. Tell the stories that accurately portray the issue, and let others be the advocates. Kissinger has written a valuable book in an era when suicide rates have increased and promoting mental health awareness has never been more important. ( )

At the height of the AIDs crisis in the 80s people did not speak of the epidemic, including President Reagan who was quite clear that if it was only killing Gay people (presumably he would have used different words) it didn't matter to real Americans. The rallying cry for those of us who disagreed was Silence=Death. That was true of AIDs, once the talking started so did the path to managing the illness. In this book Meg Kissinger wants us to know the same rules apply to mental illness.

Kissinger is a reporter who has written about America's treatment of the mentally ill for years (she has been a Pulitzer finalist and is now a professor at the Columbia School of Journalism.) She is also a member of a family that has felt the pain of mental illness more than most. Both parents were mentally ill and self-medicated with alcohol. All eight of the children (yes, 8, the Catholic church has a lot to answer for) have been affected by mental illness. Two of the eight siblings died by suicide, and two others had suicidal ideation. Through all of this, the directions to the children were clear. Shut up and deal with it. Mommy disappears for a time, shut up and deal with it. Daddy loses job after job while buying nearly everything he sees, squirreling away purchases of luxury goods so no one can see. His behavior moves the family from affluence to penury costing the children a life they saw as normal. Shut up and deal with it Children are wholly unsupervised and are seriously harmed over and over. Do not speak of it. Ambulances in front of the house are a common occurrence but no one is allowed to discuss why. The ambulances stop when one sibling suicides in a brutal manner after being repeatedly saved when trying less gruesome means. The family is told that if anyone asks it was an accident. And that silence made things worse. It made the surviving family members sicker and sadder, and possibly it took away opportunities to thwart a second suicide. And the collective silence about mental illness makes this worse for millions of other families feeling the impact of mental illness and allows the state to get away with no or substandard services.

Kissinger tells a gripping story, and makes suggestions for meaningful change in personal behavior and policy. The writing is impeccable and honest, the story relatable, the message incredibly important. Often in books like this where the writer must make herself vulnerable, the story can seem distancing -- tied to this one particular person with these very specific circumstances. That is generally fine, and there are many books I have loved where that was true. But in this book I loved that it did not feel like I was reading about one particular family, this felt like a story that impacts nearly everyone based on personal experience. It is as if she atomizes the tale rather than distilling it. This is a book that shows off the importance of a journalistic style in telling our stories. ( )