A disturbing and honest novel of mental illness and suicide; dark, because how with those qualities could it not be. My awareness of David Vann was created recently by a discussion here on why this American novelist is known and award-winning in Europe and Australia/NZ but largely unknown here in his own nation. Finding this book a few days ago at our local vast and semi-famous used book store in our University town, I added it to my haul (“nice selection”, said the bookseller after he rang up all my choices; maybe a rare American Vann reader? Not asking for clarification, I’ll never know).

Jim Vann (unfortunately, this book is an imagining of the final days of the author’s father, names unchanged) flies into California from his home in Alaska to see a therapist and be watched over by his family, his mental illness having reached crisis point. His illness takes the form of deep existential despair mixed with periods of mania, which to my inexpert judgement sounds like bipolar disorder. He is suicidal and seems to have undertaken this journey not with any hope of avoiding that course of action, but to find out if he thinks he should take others - his parents, siblings, ex-wife, children - out with him (see… dark). His brother Gary meets him at the airport.

“Please,” Gary says, his voice really pleading, desperate. “Please try. I know you can get back to your old self.”
“I’m sorry,” Jim says. “I’m not trying to hurt you. But there is no old self. There’s nothing to go back to. That’s what people don’t understand. There’s no self at all. There’s no one home.”
A kind of groan then from Gary, a sound of despair, nameless.

Jim’s pain and mania are both richly described as he lives out his final couple of days in the town he grew up in. He goes through a series of troublesome discussions and encounters with his family, an unpredictable companion who seems to have no mental filter anymore (“why are you being so mean?” his 13 year old son David tearfully asks him at one point… oh man…). His blunt questioning of his mother’s life makes her cry. He imagines murdering family members before turning the gun on himself.

This makes Jim sound like a very unlikable character, and, of course, in life one would be hard pressed to enjoy spending any time around this person as described. It’s a challenge to keep in mind that his untreated mental illness is contributing to his behavior and he wasn’t always this person. A discussion with his father, who shares for the first time his own fatalistic acceptance of living with deep depression, sheds some light on the genetic inheritance that has helped lead Jim here. And David Vann (the author) is a skilled writer of apparent deep empathy who can almost make Jim understandable.

The prose is weighty and complex. Here’s a passage describing Jim laying down on the old carpet still covering the floor of his parent’s home, of his childhood:

The dust floating thick above the carpet throughout the entire house, up to perhaps knee level in high concentration and thinning above that, an atmosphere in different bands. The nostalgiasphere first, the layer most dense, where he's lying now, a region of immense weight where time can slow or even stop moving and echoes of sound and smell and feeling can travel forever. Catfish with their wide tendriled mouths patrolling here as leviathans, fallen birds and smell of gun smoke and blood and everything grown larger. A place intent on suffocation, place of Bible stories with children ripped in half, towers falling, tongues without words, locusts descending. The sea parted and held back by a single human hand and the weight of that ready to rush in again, mountains of water overhanging and bending light and even the water smells of blood and can transform, all mutable here, nothing remaining separate or safe.

Incredibly evocative prose in service of a wrenchingly sad story, for many people. This is definitely not a book for everyone. Does that include a greater percentage of Americans than, say, New Zealanders? I don’t know! It’s a 4.5 star for me, because I just can’t put such a grim book up in my pantheon of 5 star reads, but it is an amazing work. ( )

Halibut on the Moon is focused on mental illness and possible suicide. Not recommended for those suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts. It is hard to say I “liked” this book due to its grim subject matter, but I appreciated it as an intense portrayal of the extreme highs and lows of what I assume is bipolar disorder.

The main character, based on David Vann’s father, Jim, arrives back in his hometown from his current residence in Alaska. Jim visits his therapist, family, and an old friend over the course of a couple days. His brother is asked to stay with him and safeguard his guns. Jim is obsessed with his ex-wife and sex. He suffers from guilt, despair, self-pity, insomnia, and loneliness. He feels worthless, disconnected from his sense of self. He cannot shut down his thoughts. This book constructs a psychological portrait that delves into the heart of a very personal tragedy.

I received an advance reader’s copy of this book from the publisher, Grove Atlantic, via NetGalley in exchange for a candid review. It is scheduled for release March 12, 2019.> ( )

Having read this author's work before, I knew not to expect a comfortable read. I was surprised to find it short listed for the Ockham NZ Book Awards 2020, but it turns out he has chosen to make New Zealand his home.
The main protagonist of this book is Jim Vann, who is flying from his home in Fairbanks, Alaska to his birth place, California to seek psychiatric help. He is deeply depressed and suicidal. His brother Gary meets him and drives him to his first appointment. Gary is shocked by his big brother's mental state. He always looked up to Jim, a dentist by profession as was their father. But Jim now has two failed marriages behind him and is in debt to the IRS. The narrative takes us inside the head of Jim and follows him over two days. Gary has been told to not let him out of his sight and to keep him away from his gun which he has brought with him. His actions over those days are deeply disturbing to his immediate family and close friend.
This book is harrowing but I read it very quickly as I needed to know the outcome.
It is also clear that once again David Vann has written a book based on personal experience. His father committed suicide when David was 10 years old and in this story Jim's son is David. There are other overlaps as well. This is very well written, but not for the faint-hearted and despite the author being eligible to enter the NZ book awards, I wouldn't like to see it win as it has no connection to New Zealand. However, there is increasing awareness of depression and suicide in New Zealand at present, so this could potentially be chosen. ( )

A gripping, dark portrait of a middle age man suffering from mental illness. David Vann's writing is so amazing that I felt a connection to the character. But the character was written as so unlikable that it was continually surprising so many people were willing to offer help. The psychiatry appeared rather hopeless; slow acting drugs, but no involuntary commitment for personal harm. Gripping, but not pleasurable. ( )