Sadly, this book just didn't grab me the way other similar books have done. Plus my copy felt unfinished, like it wasn't quite copyedited enough. Maybe the final edition was better. I ended up giving my copy away... ( )

This is a good book for women who feel they have to do all they are asked by anyone and everyone. It's for mom's who spend their days trying to make their kids happy; for wives to try to meet all their husband's needs; for friends who are always the one to jump into situations to help.
So many women get stuck in the nice trap and then become angry at all the demands being placed upon them, this book shows you how to go from nice but angry to God's good woman, more fulfilled because she obeying God. ( )

This is a very great read for any gal who feels like a doormat in her daily relationships. This book offers some unusual but practical advice to help women put themselves and their family first in life, and not wear themselves out helping others. I do think that the book has some ideas that need to be taken with a grain of salt to temper them out, but it's best if women make that call for themselves.
The only other thing that disappointed me about the book was the intense focus on fixing the life of the married woman. Single gals struggle with saying no to people as well, and without a family we don't have a "real" reason in people's eyes to refuse to do anything. So, there were quite a few elements in the book that were unhelpful in that respect.
However, the basic premise of the book is sound, the insights are quite revealing, and the advice is good. Definitely worth reading! ( )

A decent look at the misconception that Christians should be punching bags. Not my favorite read, but not a bad one. To be fair, I am not a girl and would really need to read the companion book (for guys) to really make a sound assessment of the author's viewpoints and assessments.

My wife is reading the book now, and we will update the review once she finishes and provides some input, as a female perspective here is probably preferred. ( )

This is one book I wish I’d read even just six months ago. The concept of this book is that Christian women are so often taught to be “nice”, that “nice” is the only acceptable way of behaving, because that’s how Jesus behaved. Conflict, confrontation, anger, and standing up for one’s self (if it causes conflict) is no way for a nice woman to act, according to our example in Scripture… BUT… the authors point out that this is absolutely not the case.

Jesus didn’t avoid conflict, he got angry, he yelled at people, he stood up to those who asked things of him that he didn’t care to give or do for them, and he made a lot of enemies. But he also was good, which means he acted out qualities like caring, helpfulness, love, righteousness, and justice. And as Christian women, we have to stop buying into the “nice” description and be GOOD instead.

“Nice” gets you walked all over. “Nice” brings stress and anxiety because you’re trying to be everything to everyone. “Nice” brings eventual emotional breakdowns because you’re spending all this time doing things for other people that resentment and frustration will build to a breaking point. “Nice” means staying in emotionally or physically abusive friendships or relationships because you don’t want to rock the boat, or get anyone upset with you.

And in the end, the person you’re hurting? Is yourself. We’re not supposed to be “nice”. We’re supposed to be “good”. From my perspective, women from all backgrounds — religious, social, economic — are all susceptible to this “nice” mindset, and we’re experts at feeling false guilt when we say “no” to things or refuse to do something.

Until a few months ago, I was a “Christian nice girl”… and then I realized that’s no way to live. I started saying “no” to things, and gave myself permission to sit down and relax. I’ve always been one to stand up for myself — I don’t avoid confrontation — but in certain settings, I’ll sometimes wait until it’s too late to say anything. I’ve been in some bad friendships that I clung to because I didn’t want people getting upset with me. But you know what? Living that way, being “nice”, was hurting me. I don’t want to be “nice” anymore, I want to be GOOD.

And that means acting in MY best interests AS WELL AS the interests of others.

The book also reminds you that sometimes this will be seen negatively by the world, since many people have a double standard for women and men. Men who say ‘No’ are viewed as strong, competent players who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go out and get it. Men get into conflict and it’s looked on as part of the way they relate, no harm done. When many women act the same way, they’re viewed as aggressive, heartless bitches. Unfortunately, that’s just the way the world works sometimes, and until the people around you realize that you’re no longer willing to be their doormat, you’re going to encounter this from some people.

I could talk for hours about this subject and this book, but instead I’ll leave you with a few links to some additional information about the book and the authors.

Here's a link to a Q&A with the authors, where you can learn more about what the term "Christian Nice Girl" means: Author Q&A (pdf)

And here's one to an excerpt from the book: EXCERPT

Available now at your favorite bookseller from Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group. ( )