For the novice Spanish speaker who lacks the knowledge necessary for calling their teammates "so lazy that they wouldn't run if their asses were on fire," or commenting that the club they're in is "boring as hell, you'd get more action at a wake," this is the perfect book for them. The irreverently hilarious instructional guide contains sections on Spanish jokes, body language, and swearing, plus irreverent cartoons throughout to illustrate some of the more entertaining phrases. By its final chapters, all of the most scalding and crucial of Spanish insults will have been imparted, including: "¡Eras más bruto que un arado!" ("You ham-fisted clodhopper!" or literally, "You're clumsier than a plough!"), "Eres más feo que el parto de Mick Jagger." ("You’re uglier than Mick Jagger when he was born."), and "¡Que te folle un pez!" ("Get lost!" or literally, "Go get screwed by a fish!").