Hmm. I could have sworn I'd read something else by this author, but nothing's showing up as read. Odd, that. And after this one here, I find it likely that I probably won't be trying another. Well no matter - my fifteenth Chick Lit book, and first by this author. Previous chick lit book review says that one is the 13th and the ones before that seem to line up. But this is the 15th one I've marked read. Not sure where the miscounting started.

From start to finish, I couldn't stand Lizzie Mancini. Not only super naive, and gullible, she also seemed to make the stupid decision almost every single chance she could. She didn't necessarily come off as stupid. No, more like she just didn't actively use her brain when it came time to actually make decisions. I'm probably the last person to say this but . . . she really is the kind of woman who needs someone next to her guiding her through life. Because, as I said, she's a bloody stupid decision maker.

Granted, I already knew this going in. That she was naive, stupid decision maker, etc. My eyes were open. I expected someone like that. I just also expected other things. Like, say, humor. Or, at the very least, romance. Sure, Lizzie was panting to fuck everyone around her, but that's not exactly the same thing as romance now is it (also, panting for, is not the same as actually doing)?

So. Her fiancé breaks off their wedding the night before (I think I recall it was the night before). So, she goes on her trip by herself. Because, gosh darn it, she did a ton of research and she just deserves to go. Not completely an out of the norm type response. I'm sure many go on the vacation anyway. But, even putting that down as a - maybe not stupid, maybe not naive, it still lead to everything else.

Being friendly with a man she just meets at the airport. A man she had no attraction to at all. Who she allowed to pick up her bag, and rolled her eyes at her friend when her friend reminded her not to allow that (you know, that 'not allowing strangers to touch your bags' thing). Apparently she can't say no. She's friendly, can't really fault her for that. She's a little too naive and gullible to be so open, or to allow herself to be so open, but can't fault her for being friendly. But. Even though they didn't have seats together on the plane, they end up sitting next to each other. Even though she wanted the empty row. And sleep. But no.

Then she agrees with him, this super creepy stranger, who gives off vibes of being a criminal to her friend Jane, to pretend to be a married couple at a resort. Because it'd just be couples there. You know what I noticed? No one would have given a fuck if she had just gone by herself and admitted everything (dumped, etc.). But, meh.

Then she meets some guy named Jack. The 'scuba boy'. Who she promptly thrusts herself at. And moons over. Good god, didn't she just have her heart broken? Oh, wait, 'fuck it out of her system, like men do'. Right, sorry.

Then there's Jane. I figured she was the smart one, what with her watching out for her friend at the airport. Almost successfully cock-blocking that 'drug dealer looking guy', and keeping him off of her bag. She made some other relatively smart comments near the beginning of the book. But every comment, thought, action, after that was down-right on the level of her friend Lizzie. Heck, occasionally she led Lizzie into stupid situations.

Now all of that could have been hilarious. I mean, there seems to have been the potential here for hilarity, action, and mystery. But . . .. The plot, despite being lead around by someone making stupid decisions, was coherent enough. The writing wasn't that bad. But every character annoyed me greatly. There was no humor. There was no romance, just a constant lust for a one night stand.

This was not a romance. This was not comical series of funny bad decisions. This was just tedious. To a certain extent, going in the way I did, I kind of expected a Lucy Ricardo bouncing around from one bad decision to another while creating much laughter and humor along the way to finding her Ricky. That'd have been great. Wasn't that either.

There were some vaguely cute moments with Fred the turtle, but that was basically that. ( )

Honeymoon for One by Beth Orsoff

This book is a lovely, funny, sweet and reasonably priced e-book that successfully combines chick- it, mystery, and slapstick comedy a la Lucy and Ethel! Ms Orloff’s descriptions of the Caribbean make me wish I were there!

Lizzie Mancini is dumped just before her wedding and since the honeymoon has been well research to get the best and most romantic bang for her buck, she decides to go on her honeymoon alone! On the day of Lizzies departure, she meets a gold chain wearing antiquities dealer who hears her story and offers to pretend to be her husband so she won’t be too embarrassed to show her face in this hotel which happens to be a honeymooners’ haven. And everything is sort of working out ok until Lizzies meets her hot scuba instructor and then her pretend ‘husbands’ dead body is found on the beach. When Lizzie becomes the only suspect in the murder, she finds that she has to take matters into her own hands. Well, her own hands and those of her best friend Jane and a reluctant Jack the hottie scuba instructor!

This book had me chuckling and wishing I had a frosty tropical fruit drink near at hand whilst sunning myself by the aqua blue waters of the Caribbean. However, since I cannot have that this book was a great alternative! This book is a perfect for a vacation or beach read, especially for when you want to forget the daily grind and just relax.
The characters are well fleshed out, the descriptions lovely, the plot interesting and the mystery just difficult enough that you may be surprised by finding out who- done- it, like I was.

A great book at a very reasonable price. You can not go wrong!

Ms Orsoff---Please, please, please write a book for Jane…as a secondary character, she was just great and deserves her own mystery and happy ending. And please include Fred the turtle…;-) ( )

After a five-year relationship and living together for two, Lizzy's fiancé decides to wait until the night before the wedding to tell her he's not the marrying kind. It had taken her weeks of research to find the best place to take their honeymoon. To drown her sorrow she decides she's still going to go and hopefully find herself an exciting one or two night-stand.

But it's going to be awkward being the only single at the couples-only resort. So how incredible that a guy she meets in the airport, going to Belize for business, offers to be her stand-in husband for dinners and sight-seeing, even while staying at a separate hotel. At least until he's killed. The trip kind of goes downhill from there.

Yes, there are lots of red flags (as well as disaster sirens) that should have been noticed by Lizzy when it comes to the things Michael does, but that's part of the story's charm. Add to it a very rich, phobia and conspiracy theory-ridden best friend, a sexy scuba diver/marine biologist, lots of potential suspects as well as motives for his death, an escape from her cleaning-closet jail cell and the need to find whodunit while hiding out, and you've got a humorous chic lit/mystery/romance.

Well after midnight with eyes so blurred it was difficult to read, I had to finish in one sitting what was perhaps the most enjoyable read I've had this summer. The story grabbed me from the first page with its very likeable characters, the situations they find themselves in, and not knowing who the bad guy is because there are just so many to choose from. And it seems that no one is quite what you think they are. This is a great book to escape in for a mini-vacation or to take to the beach. ( )